2 + 1 - 3 = 0

4th day of TP

2012-01-19T11:14:00.003+08:00

So the title says... it's not so bad here really, infact, I quite like it here. I made some new friends and I think my tp-mates are just cool. 3 of them play left4dead! Interesting eyh` and my timetable is quite free. I am given 2 classes of year 10 and I be teaching Mathematics and Accounting. Well I should be really really thankful because I wished for morning session and I really got it. So, though it will be quite challenging to teach year 10's Mathematic and Accounting... I will try my best.

guess that's about it for this post. hee, just felt like updating so I just did ;)

time flies and things changed.

2012-01-15T01:22:00.007+08:00

again, it's been a Long time since I have been here! I have always wanted to blog again but I always had a few things tying me down. Like the blog title says, things changed. So here are some updates..

First off, 2011 has passed and it's year 2012 now and I'll be 24 this year(damn!). It felt like it was just yesterday I was thinking about how was it like to grow up to this age. Time flies and many things have certainly changed. I am not the same person I used to be a year ago and some of my perspectives in life have changed. In many ways I'm just glad for the changes so I must say that 2011 was a great year for me, and it sure did passed... like an arrow. In a blink of an eye, I was already cheering for the year 2012. LOL!

so GEE! I'm graduating this year (hopefully, fingers crossed) and my teaching practice starts tomorrow! Teaching practice will be ongoing for about 4 months and that's it, I will then be waiting for the results and the convocation would most probably be around September/October!

Time sure does have its way of going by faster as we age huh, let's just hope everything will go well for everyone in this dragon year 2012. Hope I'll be writing soon again. Cheers.

i've learnt..

2011-07-04T10:34:00.001+08:00

that there are 3 things we cant recover in life: the WORD after its said, the MOMENT after its missed, and the TIME after its gone..

it's a new month, new beginning?

2011-07-01T01:19:00.002+08:00

half a year has gone, and July is here! a new month, a new beginning for me? I'd say the first half of 2011 was full of ups and downs for me. people come and go in my life and things happened... but not regretting any bit of it as they are all my choice. all I can say is, everything is fated? heh.. I sound so... old, and wise. lol!!

now I have a few resolutions for July! hehe..

1. complete my Teaching Practice perfectly and get a good grade out of it. [ last day, 14th July. Counting down days now. hehe ]

2. learn how to swim!

3. learn how to save money; budget budget everything.

4. budget for singapore trip already!

5. be the better person of myself now :))

guess this is it. still more, but i cant recall them now. ohwells, it's 2am in the morning now. the brain is already half asleep. so goodnights people. the chickens are singing already..... zz

问世间情为何物

2011-06-23T15:25:00.000+08:00

dear all, it's been a while since i've updated here. it's almost beginning to be like as if i'm not part of it hehehee *paiseh*

today i feel like ranting so i shall.

i want to know why people always get frustrated over 儿女私情 (that's directly translated as men-women-private-passion (sounds funny) i.e. love and relationships for those of you who lack education in chinese), because right now, i am frustrated.

history seems to repeat itself, and one look upon the mirror, i realise i have once again turned into the kind of girl i am NOT. if this is what love makes you do/ turns you into, then i don't want to be in love, because this kind of love makes me lost in confusion and i no longer behave like who i truly am, it's toxic love.

and then again i think about the one person whom i was always myself with. but this one person breaks my heart into pieces, not because of typical misgivings but simply because he's too selfish to invest in a relationship. here, you can argue that it's not worth waiting for someone who may never turn back to you. reminds me of that ironic statement "a person worth crying for will never make you cry" or something like that. so technically a person worth waiting for shouldn't make me wait??

what is wrong with this world???

time flies...

2011-06-23T13:13:00.003+08:00

it's been almost a month plus now since I work, plus the 2 weeks holidays. HEE, and if I count down the days to leave, it's like.....3 weeks left? ohno, I havent done my video teaching yet, and my research and analysis for one of my next semester's module assignment... and another report writing for Another module.. gah! Uni really sucks~ ohwells....

so how's it been like teaching in the school? I'd say Im enjoying every bit now.. though some of my kids are really ... uncontrollable but they are adorable at times too. HEH.. but Im still doubting myself.. if this is what Im going to do for the rest of my life...NAH~ I wana be my own boss~~ have my own time~~ do my own things~~ heehe...

so I just got back from a relief class.. now slacking in the staffroom, doing nothing because I have basically prepared most of the lesson for this week. WHEE XD

and it's sunshowering now outside. crazy weather.

so this is my latest updates. more to come. ciao :)

Teaching Practice..

2011-05-28T16:08:00.005+08:00

so I'm doing my teaching practice now at a school nearby my home. It is like an attachment thing so THERE GOES MY ''SUMMER 3MONTHS'' HOLIDAY! huhuhu.. so the teaching practice has been so far so good. The school I was assigned to is very near to my house and this is actually good because I pretty much do not need to rush to work and it takes only around 5 minutes to reach home from work. Another good thing that I should be glad about this tp is that I am teaching in the afternoon session so there is really no need for me to wake up early for work.. well everything is good BUT, but but but.... now that I think.. this is my first tp and I have another tp next yr; it is quite impossible that I'l be sent to the same school to do my 2nd TP so I'm pretty much upset now, because I have find myself slowly liking this school, and its conveniency to me... I want to maybe teach here in the future... BLEHS.

So recalling back, on the first day during the briefing, I was actually quite down when I know I am going to be in the afternoon session, because I was hoping that I could have my afternoon free to do whatever I want; gym, shop, and yea.. But this is the end of the second week already and it hasnt been too bad. I started teaching already on the second day because the classes I was given to, they were going to start a new topic and the subject teacher suggested that it'd be better if i start the new topic myself..so I started teaching on the 2nd day of my work. Overall, things were okay until the second week.

A relief teacher came to report for work and she was going to relief the two classes I was given to because the teacher in charge of the classes was going to take maternity leave so so so they decided to give me another two new classes...... omg I feel like I'm reporting... ohwells, so summary is I was given two new classes and so far I'm enjoying it eventhough there are a few very very talkative students. pfft..... oh, and I had a surprise visit by my supervisor yesterday to observe my class. I was not prepared because I thought I didnt have to teach that class yet; wrong information given by my CT but Im glad that I handled that class well despite no preparation. hehehe, and I got a pretty average grade from my supervisor.

so what am I doing now.... nothing in the staffroom, listening to the radio's songs.. and blogging here... colleagues are talking about their classes.. comparing students' answers... time is ticking, tick tock tick tock....

recently my feelings has been Up and Down but I sure hope there will be no more Down because I don't want to go through that kind of feelings anymore. I just hope all will end well for me. I pray, because all I ever wanted is just to.....

eff my curiousity..

2011-05-16T22:09:00.004+08:00

i was fine, i was happy. then out of nowhere my curiousity brings me there... flooding my mind, blurring my vision. there was that familiar ache again. there was the tightness in my chest, the lump in my throat. i hate this feeling, i hate everything about this.

curiousity + insecurities = heartbreak. WHEE!

SAD!

2011-05-16T00:43:00.002+08:00

Hehe, Shen, this blog is turning emo! Why we both so emo one? sigh

I dunno why I should be emo. I mean I know students who are like me, taking same exact subjects. But I guarantee you they are not feeling emo like me. I am so helpless.. I feel like time is against me badly. I feel like it's worst that I'm not a very bright student and I would usually take a much LONGER time to understand things generally, I mean to understand anything at all from the course materials. So that means, time again is pushing against me since I'm so slow.

Every day these days, when I wake up, I feel like crap. Haven't felt like that for so long. It's like everyday is a bad day. Every day I get up, the first thing I think of is not oh how's the weather today? or ok so what do I do today, or AH a brand new day. It's actually, shit, I'm back to reality. Coz when I get up, I always transit from dream to reality. There's not one day that the dream is worst than reality. I feel angry that I actually got up, I feel sad that I'm back to this awful real world, I wish I didn't have to get up to face all these.

I don't know if it's because of this research project or what. It's supposed to be around 6 weeks to complete. Well, supposed to research on it all the while and then this Friday is the due date. But what have my partner and I been doing? I dunno, we slacked till last Friday thinking we could do it. But now, seeing how difficult it is to research mathematical models of synchronous generators, I think it's almost impossible! Like seriously, where is there enough time, what we read we don't even get it right away, even my friend who tried to help said we're dead meat. The stuff is deep, it would take weeks to actually understand everything. Now, we practically have nothing to submit. it's 20% of the whole subject, which is damn alot. Considering I've wanted to count on this subject to get my honors grade up. Sigh.. never felt much crappier than this before.

On top of this research project, there's a whole 5 things lined up to be done for another half a month. Each, highly time-consuming, not having enough time to be done adequately. Sigh.. I never went out or have any "weekends" since the Easter break. That 's around 2 weeks already. And for the next 2 weeks no weekends again. Then after that it's study break. why would I use any of my precious study break days to go out anyway? So that means after exams, then only I can actually go out for real. And that's after 5 weeks from now... then only I can actually go out and have real weekends. What a life I have really! I don't even have a life anymore.

Maybe it's my own problem. I'm not good at balancing things in life I guess. Coz if others are doing worst and much more than me with less time don't complain, then I'm quite ridiculous. They take it lightly. I see it in some of my friends, it just doesn't look too bad. But I'm complaining here about everything coz of my poor time-management skills. I wish I could take it easily and don't fret so much.

2011-05-08T16:47:00.002+08:00

why DOES it have to be todayyyyy.... i feel like tearing open my heart now to know why is it feeling this way.. i should have known better than anyone else, i should have got used to this already. why do i have to feel this way still....

this sudden feeling inside...

2011-05-08T01:47:00.005+08:00

to be honest, i'm not always as confident as i might seem to be. there are many nights and many days when all i want is to be held and cared... sometimes i dont want to talk about what is bothering me. sometimes, all i want is just a hug, someone who will let me cry and be there for me when i need to express that feelings deep inside me...

i wear my heart on my sleeve but im not naive. i know what it feels like to be completely broken and i am familiar with what it means to be hurt. i knw what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. i've been taken advantage of and my feelings have often been disregarded one or too many times before... BUT

i still believe that all people are good at heart.. and THEY are still worth my trust..

Sooo... nahhh, not goin to bother so muchhhhh and....

p.s. inspired by a post i read. lol, no i'm not emo, maybe just stressed ;)

Grrrrrrrrrrr

2011-05-05T14:15:00.002+08:00

Guess why I'm blogging? COZ I'M STRESSED OUTTTTT~~~~

yes, it has become routine for me to only have a super super super strong urge to blog when I am frustrated or annoyed or angry. Other little times I blog coz I want to try to keep myself reminded(in future) to see what I've been up to.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ages-old question. Why am I doing engineering?!

I have a love-hate relationship with it. Sometimes I hate it to the core. Sometimes I tolerate and say it's ok, coz sometimes when I really do study for exams, it's a bit better, I dun feel like crap coz I understand things.

BUT you know what? Engineering's not all about study for exams!

The other aspects of it, I hate hate hate hate so much.

I HATE MATLAB! I hate programming. I am so weak at it, I sometimes feel like dying(so dramatic I know but really). I actually cry and sulk because I cannot program and hence, I cannot do my labs. And what's worst, my upcoming research projects, previous, current and upcoming labs, final year projects ALL need programming. It's like supposed to be embedded knowledge in engineering world. GRRRRRRRRRRRR I don't have the flair for it, damn it!

I HATE LABS when I have to fiddle with wires/equipments coz I dun know shit! And What's worst my final year project, we're supposed to build stuff, wire things, get involved with chips and PCB boards... ahhh kill me already. I really don't like these at all. And my final year project group, we are so lagging behind everyone else. Ppl have already started building stuff and we've got nothing yet. Even if I wanted to do something, I have no idea how to wire stuff. And the internet does not really teach you step-by-step what you need to know. You have to dig info from all corners of the internet and piece them one by one..

I HATE RESEARCH.. when I research for things engineering-related, there's like a million and one different, varying answers. And to understand one page of whatever some super-smart engineer student/super expert wrote is so HARD! They talk like computer/machine language.. not layman's terms at all.

I HATE PRESENTATIONS.. I suck at public speaking. I stammer, I slur on my words. And I have two coming up. And to talk about engineering stuff.. omg. I would try my best to practise and rehearse. BUT THEN, that's not the hard part! the hard part is that I will be BOMBARDED questions from the audience. And to answer them is impossible, I just can't think quickly engineering-wise. sigh..

I know I am very naive to think that I could just acquire an Engineering degree just by studying for exams. But hey, they still constitute a majority of the marks. But then again, the exams are not easy. I fear so much of the exams.. coz they are NEVER EVER easy. They are there to grill the hell out of you.

Now, I'm stuck doing multiple lab reports, programming badly, having to prepare for two quizzes, starting on research project, which have to be followed by report + presentation and final year project and have to study for exams.. arghh.. why is this semester so hectic eventhough I'm taking less subjects?

Then I had insomnia for two nights in a row, only slept a few hours, after seeing the sunlight stream into my room. wth. Was so worried about the amount of work I have to do.

FMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

hohoho!

2011-05-04T12:14:00.004+08:00

yiieehaa!! first post of the year.. and it had to be during exam period, and it's May already!! Oh May, May, May has been good I guess, except for the exams... well, it is only the 4th day of the month so I dont know yet but let's just pray and hope it'l be good.

Oh, I gotta Mention that my April was fantabulous, awesome and just, WOW! I Love April, hehe..not only wonderful things happened in April but it's my Birthday month too, well not saying there wasnt some downs in April but overall, I just love it! TEE HEE XD

so I haven't been blogging for a long long long time and I somehow is not very keen to blog anymore. Lazy I suppose, and does this blog even have any viewers still? lol, and I just conquered another exam this morning and surprisingly this one I think I did quite well. I mean, I can do it except for one or two sub questions which might cost me like, 12-15marks but ohwells.. I just want to pass, and this paper definetely I can.

so Im going to get some rest now before I cram my brain with another course... gah, I seriously hate exam period. boo!

Slack week & job woes

2011-03-16T14:03:00.009+08:00

Last week was one lazy week for me. Made a trip to ACMI with Amanda for the 'Dreams Come True' exhibition.

In the exhibition, we get to see the artwork and sketches by the artists/cartoonists, paintings, animations and all that is involved in bringing about the Disney animated films we used to watch growing up like Snow White, Beauty & the Beast, The Little Mermaid and even those that we watch these days like the Princess and the Frog and Tangled(or Rapunzel which is in other countries). It was just a Thursday afternoon after class and I declared it like some Saturday afternoon. At the end there was a drawing room, where people can draw their favorite Disney characters and display it on the wall.

So, we drew ours for fun as well :P

Mine.. lol

Soo.. after that we went out of the exhibition place and came across the Melbourne Food & Wine Festival, where we sat on beach chairs that were weirdly laid out there for nothing and watched a cooking show LIVE.

This pic was taken before the cooking show started. They're playing some Italian-sounding music that made me feel like I'm in Paris haha

After that, spontaneously met up with my friends for dinner and spontaneously decided to catch a movie. We watched Rango, which I thought was a waste of time :S Really didn't liked it at all, maybe I dun like Spanish accent..hmmm or the ugly animals or the lousy plot.

Then Friday came, and instead of doing important things, I dilly-dallied till dinner time and after dinner time, went to a bar called the Red Hummingbird and then it's sleep time alrdy. Another day wasted.. I'm so good at not appreciating time.

Saturday was a little more productive, I think? Woke up earlier than usual and went to Victoria Market and bought a trolley-ful of groceries. It takes a lot of effort for me to drag myself all the way there, just to buy meat, veges, fruits, etc.. but most importantly, my main aim there was established; to get oysters! Yumm..

That night, I had dinner with friends I haven't seen in months or half a year at Shoya. It was an awesome possum dinner as it was considered fine dining I suppose. It was a ten-course dinner, Japanese food, all intricately arranged and portioned so small , gourmet style. So yea, was amazed and really happy coz recently I have been complaining about how I've never been to fine dining places before and would love to try doing that some day:D

Attended this recruitment talk by Ericsson yesterday and last week to a Careers Fair. These days I've been swamped by job talks. People around me are getting hired, looking for jobs, etc. Sigh.. feeling so left out. And even those who haven't got jobs at least had internship experiences. And people who get hired, they get hired by big companies. I've got friends who got hired by KPMG, Accenture, Intel, PWC, IBM, National Australia Bank (NAB)... and has gone through interviews with Boeing(the aeroplane company), Campbells' soup.. oh my god.. I don't know how to describe how intimidating all these are. It's as if it's so easy to get in when it sure as hell is SO not easy. Have been thinking of applying for jobs before I graduate but it's not that possible at the moment.

In Australia, big companies love offering graduate programs. I don't know about other countries yet, coz I haven't researched.. but it's very very common here. Graduate programs are full-time jobs, but they rotate you around the company so you get a feel of each department of the company, this would take about 1.5-2 years before you advance on, without training. So, the recruitment for these graduate programs are very sought after by all final year students. Usually they give priority to Australians/PRs to apply in March(which is about now), then by 3 weeks, after going through resumes would then call applicants up for phone interviews, group interviews, and finally an offer will be made around May. Isn't that so efficient?? Before you even graduate, you know you're hired to work next year in February in the company already, wat a relief it would be if I could get hired that way. But I CAN'T! All because I don't have a PR at the time of application, which is usually March/April. Even if you aren't a PR, they would want you to have like a receipt/evidence that you're applying for it at the time of application. WTH.. how is that even possible? I can't apply for PR until I graduate end of this year anyway. So, in other words, these graduate programs are not applicable to me.. sigh! If there's graduate programs in Singapore, maybe I'll give it a shot and apply for several companies before I graduate.

Friends have been telling me about common interview questions, how to answer them, what to wear. And work stories such as about colleagues, managers, attire, culture, casual Fridays, lunch times, I always hear are making me so jealous! I wanna work.. I wanna have income!

Well, no point ranting. Just gotta wait. And I really hope I get into a good company to start, despite my really ugly academic transcript. I've been told everytime I ask if academic excellence affects application consideration and they always say the same thing -> "Not really, we're looking for well-rounded people. People who don't only do well in studies, but are able to communicate with people and are proactive, etc".... Hope that is true, because I seriously can't rely on my academic performance to get a job.

Week 2 of uni

2011-03-07T16:50:00.005+08:00

Today's weather is "fantabulous"! Could actually walk out in shorts for the first time since I came back. I can't believe I was a mad freak about series.. spent my whole weekend, plus last Friday( I overslept, so didn't go for class) finishing up Can't buy me love and starting and finishing Ghost Writer. Also went to a rooftop bar called Madame Brussels last Friday night.

Pictures taken from Google, coz my lousy camera can't capture the night view very well.

So yea, quite a cute place, feels like the perfect place for a garden party with cupcakes, scones and tea. However, we went there for cocktails instead lol.

Finally my group members and I went to see my supervisor today about our project. Have got soooo much to read up on. Seriously, why did I spend so much time on series... now I'm quite hooked, feel like watching my next series in line, In the Eye of the Beholder.

Ooh yea, was supposed to recap on my awesome summer holiday.

Instead of doing an internship the whole summer, I wasted it away on being a driver to my sisters.. fetching them to and fro wherever they wanted. Sigh, wat a use of my precious time.. other than that, I was running errands for my mom or sleeping a LOT.

So to summarize, I:

- went to KK with Shen, Clint, Glo, Soon & Melvin. Awesome trip, tiring too. I remember sleeping very easily every night, coz I was so darn tired. Sleeping to and fro on the way there by car, eating, shopping, water sports for a whole day which includes jet ski, fly fish, snorkelling, parasailing & banana boat, karaoke, great hotel(thanks to Clint), bubble tea from Yoyo, Fish & Co and bak kut teh & Salut for dinner, xiao long baos, takoyaki, egg tarts, A&W. One Borneo twice, Starbucks twice. Nichii twice HAHAHA, why all twice? Didn't have enough time the first time.

- spent Xmas and New Year's in Brunei with family & friends. Fel & Lynn & & her friends, Teo and Henry were in Brunei. So spent some time playing rummy, dinners and visiting Kampung Ayer. Xmas & Boxing day dinners with family & at Uncle John's house, New Year's dinner with Fel, Shen, Henry & Jee Wei.

- Flew to back Melbourne for 10 days for my supplementary paper, which I passed alrdy.. yay. While on transit in KL both times, I stayed for a night. Spent two nights' time, with cousin & auntie & uncle. While in KL, ate my favorite hokkien mee, watched Season of the Witch, toured Taylor's College new Lakeside campus, went to the Library bar.

- Shopped quite a lot in KK & Melbourne, looking for CNY clothes

- Flew back to Brunei, spent about a week there, then off to Tawau for 2 weeks for CNY.

- Tawau was boring. The wait for CNY to come around was too slow to bear. It felt like forever before CNY came, coz we went back like a week before CNY started. Had numerous limteh sessions with my cousin and her friends. CNY was fun though, watching lion dances perform those dangerous jumping stunts on those high poles, collecting angpaos, visiting relatives, meeting cousins for limteh sessions, eating, being able to drive myself out to cease boredom, shopped a little due to boredom and managed to buy 2 heels. Quite unbelievable considering that's a small town. What could u possibly buy from there? But then again, it's nevertheless still much much much better than Brunei. Also bought lots of hair tie stuff, a dress, some earrings. When it was time to leave, it was a mixture of sadness and happiness.. sigh

- Back to Brunei on 6th day of CNY. KB road trip with Shen and friends one Sunday, sakikong and painian every other day. Lost except once the entire CNY.. seriously was in bad luck for gambling. Open house on Chap Goh Meh. Very fun CNY indeed, fun fun everyday.

- Lots of movie time. With KK gang, The Devil, All Well Ends Well, The Mechanic. Homecoming with Shen. I love HK, Sanctum & the Green Hornet with family.

- Eating! After every time I pick Rachel up from school during the noon at 2 or 3 or 4 pm, we'll go eat. Laksa and green sien chai noodle soup from Shiang Ping & Excapade many times, kolo mee, KFC cheesy wedges, butter milk prawn, pizza hut, Ayamku, etc trying to recall but can't remember what else I ate.

- Tried Zumba with Shen, Rachel and Nat one day.. with Vivian leading us, with her pro Zumba moves. It was super tiring for me, coz I have not exercised in a really long time.. feel so exhausted after 20 mins, and had a stitch halfway.. sigh. But it was fun nevertheless, wouldn't mind going again (Y)

- I didn't really do much in Brunei during non-CNY period I suppose.. except being a driver, fetching sisters and running errands and meetups with friends.

First week of uni 2011

2011-03-02T22:17:00.006+08:00

Sigh, another urge to blog.

Right now, I'm listening to JJ's album, the latest one, where he sings all the songs he's written for many female singers. I think I'm weird, before this, I was thinking, why doesn't it bother me if I dun listen to any songs. I dun feel that it's silent or that I need to constantly listen to something. This is a seriously HUGE contrast to the old me. I used to be a music fanatic, whatever's new I have to know, as soon as I step into the house, I have to play my songs. Used to bring my Ipod and listen to it everywhere, esp when mp3 players started rolling out around the age of fifteen. But now, I dunno what's wrong! Does it mean I like being silent these days? It doesn't bother me that during my 8-hr flights to and fro Melbourne multiple times, that I never even switch my Ipod on at all, not even for a while. In the past, every tram ride, everywhere I walked on the streets, I need to have my music with me at all times.. now I dun even bother, I just leave it at home. Songs that I've downloaded since last November, I have not even listened to them. The only time I'm obligated to listen to songs is when I'm driving.. and I don't even bother selecting songs I like and putting them in the car to listen, I just merely turn to the radio and just go with whatever's playing. Lost touch with music man -_-" And when I listen to the Chinese songs, I go all emo, coz the music is so damn sad! Oh, I suddenly remembered another occasion where I actually need my songs with me, and that's during the exam period. Reading the never-ending pages of lecture notes without the Ipod is torture, so quiet, and lecture materials keep driving me to sleep.

Anyways, Visa renewal is annoying, so many procedures to go through. Have to go for medical check up 2 weeks later. Currently anticipating the burden that's piling on me from uni. Went shopping a little, bought two skinny long pants and a hair curler finally. Need to experiment more with the curler, coz I suck at using it. BUT I can't use it too often. Even with heat protector sprayed before using it, I'm pretty sure the heat is gonna kill my hair if I use it every other day.

Went to try out the Blackberry Torch today. Still wondering if I should get the Torch 9800 or the Bold 2 9780. Hmmmmm.. Torch is so like my old LG phone, half touch screen, half keyboard. However, Torch's screen reminds me of the Iphone's screen, huge, and easy to browse webpages and pictures with. Funny thing is, I can use either the touch screen or the usual scrolling touchpad thing to click on this or that. And can type with either the physical slide out keyboard or the on-screen keyboard like the Iphone's. How peculiar I find, having the option to use it like an oldschool Blackberry scrolling up and down, left and right or just touch touch touch like the Iphone. When I see the Bold 2, I find it so small! And it seems to pale in comparison to the Torch.. sigh.. but it's small and compact, the screen is pretty small too, smaller than my bold 9000. Dilemma~

I am so missing being in Brunei still! Don't really know if I miss driving. I keep complaining of having to drive so much in Brunei, but walking here is not too bad either. Prob coz the distance is not too far as I'm right in the city.

Seeing the uni sickens me. I really cannot wait to get out of it. Need a new life.. new purpose in life, work not study. Need money! Need independence, dun wanna use parents' money with guilt everytime I buy something that is not necessary.

Got my friend Jason to dismantle my whole laptop and clear all the dust build-up in my laptop's fan. Previously, my computer heats up like crazy, I swear it can cook an egg or be an iron, it burns if u leave ur fingers on it for more than a few seconds. Gets worst if it has been left on the bed. And the wind that comes out of the vent was always warm! Now, after all dust is cleared, the vent actually blows out cool air.. amazing! And my laptop is not HOT anymore :D

Blogging in autumn time

2011-02-28T00:34:00.004+08:00

My gosh, how long have I not blogged man? Since October! I skipped abt 3-4 months of blogging.. hehe, all thanks to Facebook, for taking blogging out of a lot of peoples' lives. I even stopped reading blogs altogether.

Sigh.. Right now I can't sleep. That's why I'm blogging. Slept on the plane for about six hours during midnight(the right time to sleep). But it was so uncomfortable sleeping in a sitting position, plus when I arrived, two other planes arrived at the same time.. so the immigration queue was the longest I've ever been in any immigration queues in my life.. took more than 1.5 hours just to get out of the airport. sheesh.. when I reached home, I was tired as hell already. So I slept for abt 4-5 hours in the noon, then for about 4 hours during the night. So now I can't sleep! grrrrr..Am supposed to wake up at a normal time tomorrow, for class and to settle A LOT OF THINGS like unpacking, renewing student visa, renewing student card, lectures, project briefings, upgrading to a new phone, grocery shopping, etc etc..

Well, I was actually intending to blog about what has happened over the past few months. SO much has happened, I dun even know how to and where to start.

hmmmm...

maybe another time..

Now, for some resolutions:

1) Must study hard! Most importantly, Start Early.. no slacking.. Try to be as interested as possible in subjects, so that it quickens studying(hate how when I try to start my engine for studying, I totally hate the subject contents, keep resisting reading even a page.. but once it starts, I get a little interested, and then only can I keep going, faster and faster)

2) Allocate time for these: series(maybe 1 or 2 episodes a day), exercise, reading storybooks(just impulse bought 4 books from KLIA's MPH). I realise I never allocated time for movies/series. I just dun bother usually. I only watch shows certain times in a year, not regularly. Even listening to songs, I get so lazy, I dun bother listening to them, as in I don't bother turning on my playlist at all.

3) Cook more!

4) Have a better sleep and wake up time. Try to be as regular as possible. I hate it when some days I sleep longer into the noon and can't sleep earlier during the night. sigh..

Ok, that's about it.

I'm so missing my Brunei routine. No studying, no cooking, no set time to wake up and sleep, do watever u want.. I missssssssss. And I'm missing everyone in Brunei! I dunno why I just instantly feel sad and bogged down by things I have to do here when I reach Melbourne. Guess that's reality for you.. study/work times can never compare to holiday times.

pre-exam Stress.

2010-11-18T17:56:00.002+08:00

It has always, always been like this. A week or two before the exam confirm cant help to procrastinate, again and again and heh, I can already imagine myself saying 'I wished I have more time' a day before the exam.

SIGHS! buckle up already, Shenny Tang! This semester is crazy; with 6maths and 1 accounting course, I doubt... but I'm going to prove myself wrong, again. I'm definetely going to score.

My objective is to get 2As', 3Bs', 1C and 1D but Dear God, if you think my request is a bit too much then a pass will do. seriously. amitabha.

hmm, I don't think anyone is reading this bloggie, except for the Bloggers eyhs? so it's like I blog for myself to read, haha.. but Jasmine Yap, if you see this, JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU yess!! We can do it aite! hehe, I see you soon!! xoxo

Blogging in springtime

2010-10-08T16:34:00.011+08:00

Hello to the few readers out there,

Really dunno why I just don't feel like blogging anymore these days. I'm so lazy. I'm so lazy to even upload photos on Facebook.

Updates:

Have been working for about 2 months now, waitressing. I'm definitely feeling more comfortable now, no more anxiety issues I used to deal with, before I went in the first few times. Have already broken a total of 1 water glass and 3 wine glasses and not proud of it and my boss is just too nice to not charge me for it. Have been well fed by the chef, some days I work during lunch hours(usually do dinner times), I get my lunch. But before I leave to go home, the chef made me take back a tapao of that night's dinner as well, how nice!

Tim Burton's Exhibition displays the works of the director behind most of Johnny Depp's movies like Charlie and the chocolate factory, Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, Edward Scissorhands, Tim Burton. Went there with Amanda one Sunday. His works are really quirky and weird to the max. Looking at them actually give me the creeps at how someone can think/draw with so much eccentricity. Weird shit.

Boring uni stuff happens.. as usual. But I shouldn't be complaining, only doing three subjects this semester, so I'm relatively more free compared to the normal workload of 4 subjects.

Finally gotten around to using a Blackberry. Just thought the BBMessenger and Whatsapp are quite convenient as u can chat with people unlimitedly. And the ability to receive instant email notifications in my phone are both good and bad. Good, cause if there's any important announcement in my uni email gets sent in, I would know about it instantly or if someone tags some bleargh picture of me in Facebook, I'd know. Bad, because sometimes it's so annoying! A simple comment on my Fb page would send a beep/blink on my phone. And if 10 other comments continue on that same initial comment, my phone won't stop bugging me. Case in point: my birthday. Super lots of beeping on my phone coz of the FB greetings, I wanna hide it under a pillow. But then again, I'd know instantly who greeted me. Oh well, could have switched the blinking/sound off, but didn't.

Went to my first uni ball ever. Loved the venue. I wore a dress that resembled a wedding gown according to a lot of people including myself.. But I still like it. hahah, like what the salesgirl said, makes me feel like a princess. And I've always wanted to wear a long dress, finally gotten around to wearing one. Yay!

OOh, and I won a $10 Sushi shop voucher for lucky draw. haha, already used it yesterday. And also, the organisers of the ball got us free entrance to Seven, the afterparty club venue, we just had to show our ball tickets.

The birthday - Really didn't feel like celebrating this year. So, just had lunch with Amanda and dinner with friends.

Went to Tasmania for 4 days, 3 nights. Apparently Tasmania is supposed to be boring, lots of sight-seeing and that's about it. But lucky, we did more adventurous stuff and that took the boring factor out for us. The day we arrived, we all went to a honey farm, but it's more like just a honey shop.

Then after dat, we went to explore caves, with a tour guide of course. The stalactites and rock formations were quite pretty and it kept reminding me of what Geography taught many years ago.

Day 2, we went to Cradle Mountain for hiking. Love the scenery.. so beautiful.

* Actually getting lazier to upload photos here alrdy, so stay tuned in FB for more pics.

Day 3, white water rafting & ghost tour. Ghost tour freaked me out so badly, apparently we went into a prison area, it's a really big piece of land with lots of old buildings that look like castles, this whole place used to a convict prison for about 170 years ago. And one of the houses there was supposedly the 2nd most haunted house in Australia and the guide made us go into it and stayed in one of the rooms while he explained all the sounds and sightings people have experienced in there. Goodness..so scary. Like he said a grumpy old man ghost is always seen near the window there and then pointed his torch at that direction wth. Then the guide always brought us to a particular area where people used to see ghosts, hear footsteps, feel cold, all those things u get when a ghost is near u.

So anyways, Day 4 explored Hobart city(capital of Tasmania), went to the Salamanca Market where they sell handicrafts, old books, food, jewelleries, etc then off to the airport and back to Melbourne.

So back to Melbourne, back to study. Timetable just came out, exam ends on 19th Nov, earlier than I expected. So, dat's great, can relax earlier, but that also means I have to start studying, like now! Which is what I'm trying to do daily. Sigh, really need to get good grades.

BREAKTHROUGH!

2010-10-05T23:40:00.003+08:00

Yes, I seriously need a breakthrough, in every aspect of my life. kinda feel so sick about everything around me now... my life; my studies, this and that and all... everything is just so.. plain and stale and sad, and Boring!

and I cant seem to get over with something that is already over. SHENNY! Get Over With It!

I need a path, a new route.. to a whole new me! GAH! I just feel so negative now... about everything! What is wrong with me..

Inspired.

2010-09-12T00:46:00.005+08:00

so what have I been doing lately? so, some updates about me...

well, I'm in my 3rd year now in Uni, one more year to go and I'm graduating, hopefully. fingers crossed. So what's happening now? I cannot imagine that eight freaking months have passed and it's September 2010 already. This year has been a fun one; many happenings; both ups and downs until I did not have time to keep up to date to this blog. lol.

heh, so I managed to pass my semester 4 smoothly with no supplementary and during that 3 months holiday, I worked my *ss off with 2 jobs in June and got well paid. So as a reward to that, I sponsored myself to chill and relax at KK and Singapore with a bunch of awesome friends. I seriously had a great time there and after that trip, boy I just wished I was staying there.

Just to share with you guys, I enjoyed my June this year very much; handling 2 jobs and pretty much all my time was occupied that month. I had no time to spare for anything at all. However at the same time I learned quite a few things that was really worth it. I learned that money really don't come easily. You want more money, you will have to earn it, and it's not easy to earn it. There are bound to have sacrifices to it. I sacrificed my time :(

Yes, my time. I missed out a lot of valuable time with my family and friends. I still remember missing out a few dinner functions with my family and how left out I felt but I cant do anything. I got to be responsible with my work. Also, I missed out a few sports outing and also hangouts..... boo, but that's not so bad. What I really sacrificed was also my REST/SLEEP! I hardly have time to rest at all, and I thought I looked awful that time. Heh, can you imagine; working from 8am to 930pm everyday, well, except weekends but there was 2 weeks I had to work on Saturdays too. I finally understand why the working people insisted to treat their weekends well by enjoying themselves. From that month onwards, I always looked forward to weekend and treasured my weekend like a precious diamond. lol. Seriously.

So enough about my June.

Seriously what happened for the whole month of June has made me think a lot on what I really want for myself in the future. I came to realize that that is not what I want to do for a living in the next coming years. I don't want to be working my *** off for money. I met some new people recently and I thought what they said was right. I don't want to live my life controlled by my emotions, the two emotions; fear and desire. The fear of losing the job because if I lose my job, I wont get the money I want. On the other hand, the desire to get the things I want from money to make me go to work to get the money in order to get the things I want.

Sighs` so I'm still finding and trying ways to make sure I do not go into this cycle in the future and also to try go out from this cycle now, because I think that is exactly how I am feeling working my part time job now. There's actually nothing much I can do now because I am still quite dependent to my parents. So what I really can do now is to finish off my course in the Uni before I set my foot to another path, a path that I can actually be independent to my parents. [ahhh, Scary! lol ] Though I must admit I regret taking this path I'm walking now But since I've chosen this path, I will just continue on until the end before I see another junction. By that time, I will be sure to choose the right path :)

So as I was going to end this post just now, something happened... and I was suddenly inspired and wrote a short note. It was actually written in hope to wake someone up.. and yea, I thought I could share it here too.

''You never realized you have a nice family, you only care how nice or bad your friends treat you. You never realized how much your family has done for you, you only care what you can do for your friends. You never realized how worried your family can get when they can't reach you, you only care about how they do not trust You. You never realized no matter how big the argument you get with your family that in the end they will still treat you like the argument did not happened. What You have never realized doing to your family is that You always resent being told what to do. I really hope one day You will grow up and wake up to realize how blissful your life is, to have such wonderful people around you already. I also hope you will learn how to treasure those who loves you for just the way you are, and not those who try to change you to what you are becoming now.''

a quote to share :

have or not have or not have or not!?

2010-09-06T23:38:00.005+08:00

你有没有爱过我，有没有想过我，有没有有没有也会有一点心动的时候但是说不出口 ♪

have la hor hor hor! Heeeeee

Our Equation!! I missed you.

this post is just going to be a soft opening eyh...

Yes, I'm coming back, to blog more after this post, yes I will.

I missed blogging, actually forgot how it feels to blog already;

the feeling of blogging and after blogging.

so I am going to blog soon! heee...

and oh Jasmine Yap! If you see this post, I missed you! talk to you soon okay! xx

My very eventful first week of uni

2010-08-01T22:03:00.002+08:00

So, this post is gonna be pretty long. Time for me to rant and rant and rant and rant. It actually feels pretty good putting things down in words, exactly like a journal. Coz when I look back at these posts, I actually can remind myself of different phases of my life, which I definitely can't remember forever so clearly in my mind.

Day #1, Last Sunday

Switched room with housemate Siew Chien. Reason being that my sis came and lived with me and we needed the other bigger room. So, it was packing packing, cleaning, shifting, setting up the bed, the toilet stuff.. and then other smaller stuff gets relocated into the new room and placed in newly-organised cupboards and shelves. Putting things neatly at the right place took forever, it is still on-going. I just have too many things and I wanna put everything perfectly into the right places, not just anywhere and everywhere.

Day #2 Monday

Thank goodness, after days of waiting for my supp paper exam result, I finally was told by the lecturer that I passed. Whopeeee!

Day # 3 Tuesday

Sat on bed with laptop on one day and pondered upon my recent discovery. I discovered last year around Sept/Oct, that my left hip is jutting out far more than the other side. Googled "hip jutting out one side more than the other" and voila! I found something frightening. The whole Google search page shows one big word "Scoliosis". A girl asked the same question on Yahoo Answers! and the person who replied said "Have u been checked for scoliosis?" Went and research on scoliosis and got freaked out even more. Coz other symptoms matched my condition. Hip higher on one side, shoulder is one higher than the other, pants hemline might differ(one shorter, one longer). So off I go, immediately, to see the doctor. Told him, I think I have scoliosis. Measured my hip to ankle to see if I have one long and one short leg. Nope. Then pressed my spine from the neck down, feels straight. But he agrees that my hip does jut out on the left more. So, I was suggested to do an X-ray. So, off I go to the hospital to do an X-ray, just wanna get things done asap, and the x-ray place was closing around the time I left. phew. Now to just wait for the x-ray film to be sent to the doctor I saw previously

Day #3 Wednesday

Attended a friend(Ruwan)'s 21st birthday party. It was great, though it felt a bit boring. The theme of the party was white! White dresses everywhere that night, I was amazed how everyone could actually find something white and nice to wear coz they were ALL complaining about how hard it was to find white dress/clothes to wear and how it looks fat on them. hahah. It was a good night, I would say.

Day #4 Thursday

X-ray report out, went to see doctor. As soon as I walked on, he said "Jasmine, yes, you do have scoliosis I'm afraid to say". Woahhhh... I "Oh my god"-ed to the doctor. Then I saw my x-ray image of my spine on his computer. It was a freaking convex (c-shaped)to the right. The reason why my left hip is jutting out is because my hip is trying to compensate for the spine curving to the right. Damn.. bad news much. I really do feel disabled when I went home and read all the sufferings people go through with that. To further confirm what I have to do next, I have to go see an orthopedic specialist. Only the specialist can tell me how much the angle of my spine has curved off and to decide whether I have to exercise or wear a brace around my waist to straighten my spine. sighh.. Told my family and they kinda freaked out a little and advised me on what to do next. Another astonishing discovery: it now has become clear how come, all through my years of spectacle wearing(started in form 4) that my ears were one up and one down. And true enough, it's cause of the scoliosis. The ear that is lower down is the right side.. where my shoulder is lower too.

Day # 5 Friday

Went to submit my resume to the restaurant that my friend recommended me to work at cause she knows the boss. Got interviewed a little.. and was told to go back the next day for a trial.Got told that trials are $10 per hour. Awesome. The last time I went for trials, they didn't even pay me a single cent.

Day # 6 Saturday

Anticipated all day long for 5 pm. That's when my trial for work as waitress started. Don't even know if it's a good or bad thing for my back, standing for long hours and straining my back. Anyways, had to learn how to do the usual waitress duties like serving, taking orders, greeting customers, wiping tables, washing glasses. It was a good experience really. Always wanted to know how it feels to be behind, in the kitchen and how things work in there. That night, it was madness. Apparently, I was thrown right into the deep end on first day of trial wth. Coz there was this feast going on. Some rich Taiwanese/HK young adults were dining that night. A total of 22 people. They had like such yummilicious food, like lobster shashimi lou sang(which I was lucky enough to taste at the kitchen. LOL the boss was saying how I'm lucky coz I get to eat lobster on the first day. Usually the waiters there only get it like once a year), crabs, abalone, oysters, shellfish, and all other things. So yums..but too bad, I'm not the one eating, but the one serving. That brings me to another point. You know, it feels so different to serve and to be served, like completely, utterly different. When we're served at restaurants, we somehow have this superiority, like we're kings, we're being served and we look at waiters like servants. Whereas, when I was serving, I felt the total opposite. I felt so looked down upon for some weird reason. grrr.. weirdness. like I'm a servant. But oh well, a servant gets paid. Oh, also, it was damn hectic, was running up and down the stairs like mad, at one point, I was actually sweating. Then, I broke a glass. But anyway, at the end of the day, I was kinda overpaid. I got $60 working from 5-10.20 pm. I felt a bit bad that I'm taking money but not staying till the particular time I'm supposed to be paid till, that's 11 pm. So, I stayed on and washed glasses. Andddd..I got $3 tip, divided from the tip jar. I got to drink some longan dessert and some Coke. Furthermore, every time anyone works, there's gonna be a meal prepared by the chef. If you don't wanna eat it, you still have to take away. Chef gets angry if you don't and if you throw food..lol And we all are supposed to call him Sifu..haha funny.

Day #7 Sunday

Today was pretty motivated to wake up cause my friends made breakfast plans. But I only reached at 11 am, so I guess it's not breakfast anymore, more like brunch. After that, walked around the city a little. Oh my, all the running and walking in the restaurant yesterday was like a workout. I was aching all over today, like the kind I get after working out in the gym after a long time of not visiting the gym. Around 5, my generous friend, Jason took me to IKEA. Yay, time to get my new study desk, then had dinner. At home, I anxiously assembled the table and finally got to place all the things I had on the floor onto the table AT LAST. Felt so homely. Just realised that without a study table, life feels so incomplete. Was arching over on the floor or on the bed, when I was using the laptop for the past week. Really Bad for the back. Now, I'm sitting comfortably in a good sitting position, typing away. Bliss! And then set up my speakers, happy! I really prefer music from speakers rather than laptop, much clearer and there's a subwoofer. Oh, reason I had to buy a new table was cause my old one was old and wobbly whenever I rubbed something off using eraser on the table, it would shake badly, making all the things on the table rattle, damn annoying.

Anyway, super damn long entry!

I am so happy I'm finally settled into this room despite having lots to clear still. Too many unwanted old clothes, old electrical cables and wires, containers, etc... the list goes on.

Ta,

Jas

Persevere

2010-05-15T23:56:00.003+08:00

I'm in uni now at this ungodly hour.. supposed to be studying but ended up surfing net like mad for hours, chatting to ppl ard here and there and then downloadings songs. Listening to 2 new Jay Chow songs, 'Chao ren bu hui fei' and 'wo de di pan' . Don't know why 'wo de di pan' is so freaking emo, listening to it makes me feel unnecessary emo too...it's such a sad song, makes me very gan dong and bei shang wth. My heart is like heavy.

Anyway..let's see. Update from the last time I blogged. Completely recovered, but recently kept sneezing and had to keep clearing my throat. Essay was over and done, didn't get a grade that I expected.. but oh well, just gotta do better for the exam. Mid-semester tests were done too.. didn't quite well. Hope I'm not on the road to hell again. Then.. exam timetable's out, having them on 9,15,23 & 24. And after that, planning to make a trip to Gold Coast or anywhere else during the one month hols. Main aim is to go do bungee jumping, something I wanna do since a long time ago. And zorbing too.. where they put you in a huge transparent ball and roll you down the hill.

Lately, I've become a bit of a shopaholic, kept going to buy clothes -_-" And trying to look for really thick tights for winter but can't find any good ones.

Watched Ip Man 2 and Alice in Wonderland. Ip Man 2 was super awesome! Loved Donnie Yen, he's damn cool. My cousins tell me he's like the new Jackie Chan or Jet Li. Alice In Wonderland was just so-so.. not bad I guess, very quirky though.

Just couldn't figure out why I'm so unacceptable to certain things. I mean I can accept it if it was connected to someone I don't know at all.. but when it's with someone close, or related to someone close, I just feel so annoyed and disgusted. grrrr.. what's wrong with me? I know I shouldn't be bothered by other people's actions, but hey, some things are just un-ethical and not the norm in the society I was brought up in. Maybe I'm closed-minded? Maybe I'm innocent and ignorant to all things out there that's happening currently in the other dark and wicked world?

My Holiday

2010-05-15T16:49:00.003+08:00

..STARTED an hour ago! woots! 3months AWAY from UNIVERSITY life.

I'm too happy for words.

Just want to announce and share my happiness here.

and Oh, I'm in Love with HTC DESIRE. should i get it? any reviews about it? but anyhoots I think I'm going to get it soon, I hope.

also, I cant wait to go singapore/kk in July already.

I have got a feeling now, a feeling that this holiday would be GREAT! hee...

status : HUA HEE until............... xD

-signing off-

GOD HEARD ME!

2010-05-08T18:33:00.005+08:00

YES, HE DID!

I was tweeting in the morning around 11ish; "Dear god, please hear my prayers today.....

today I'd my MS3424 Company Accounting paper and believe me, the questions I revised and looked through all looked as complicated as you can think of. The calculations to arrive to that one value and to complete that ONE question can take up to more than 4hours. Serious. Like what kaiping said, the questions are ''not for human to do" and he is considered a very good in accounting student ler, what more to expect from me.

so I was praying I could pass this course with an E, and when I reached UBD this morning, I was told by fawei that I would need to score just 10marks to pass the paper because I scored 30/40 for my coursework and the passing mark for this course is 40? hee... and it was inside the exam hall that I got to know I got to score at least 28 over that 100marks paper to pass with an E. So so conclusions..... I've scored a definite 15marks already, thanks to the teacher who suddenly stood beside me and told me how to do a question I KNEW how to do BUT FORGOT how to do; the mind was suddenly blocked temporarily...

so my point here is, without the 15marks, it's quite impossible that I can pass, unless Miracle; the teacher decided to give 30marks a Pass, which is quite impossible? if so then I score a zero mark also can pass already. LOL!

so another point here is, He answered my prayer! Dear God! Thank You! Thank You So much! *hearts*

Well, I still have 2 more papers; 7days to go. Cant wait, cant wait... cant wait to end this exam soon!!

Shenny Tang!! You can do this!! XD

Exams!

2010-05-05T02:04:00.002+08:00

yes, it's the season again; Exam season, and so group study here and there. [*eeks, mosquitoes under my table!!!!!]

ok, so had my first paper last monday and it was not so bad. I dont think i can get an A, but a B or a C is a definete? hee.. I hope, but but.. tomorrow's paper; statistic, I hope for an E, seriously. My hopes are not high, only an E or else I dont know what more I can do.

I still regret why did I took up major in Maths; maths is just not my thing. sighs! anyhoots, like what my teacher said, since I'v been 'trapped in this tiger's mouth' already, why not just fight with it to get out of the mouth instead of hiding inside waiting for it to open its mouth to escape, which is quite impossible; rare chance.

so argh. im stress now again. lol! supposed to be revising, but i suddenly got this mood to blog about my feelings so here goes. Im stress im stress im stress NOT.

i seriously, need a lot of lucks!!

Work and play

2010-04-24T23:36:00.003+08:00

Time for some updates from me again. Juggling work and play is definitely no easy task. These last few weeks have been so hectic.. in work and in play. After the Easter break, uni resumed, and schoolwork piled up mountain high, slogged through lab sessions, assignment due dates and late nights, keeping up with the extreme fast speed of information digesting(although I still fail badly in this area, I am always lagging behind in classes). But still, there were social events I "had" to go to. I know I should be like Oh I've not finished catching up with all the subjects' materials up to date, so I should just stay at home and study my ass off. IF only it was that easy to stick to such strict disciplinary rules man. It's so HARD. IESS had a Cocktail Night two Fridays ago and I had to go for that. It was the first event of that sort organised by the society, gotta go see how's it gonna work out. Then, there's Amanda's birthday yesterday, that I am definitely obligated to go. And then there's a day or two, that I just don't feel like studying/reading anything at all. And that one day that I felt I wanna go shop a little.. whether I really bought anything or not is not the issue, it's the feeling of joy that I actually get to go and shop, as my time is so constrained within uni schoolwork.

Anyway, I was just thinking, maybe it's coz I was dead sick the whole of last week, that I was feeling so lazy. Have been so sick the whole week. Was having non-stop-reaching-out-for-tissue moments almost every other minute, and my nose was so tired and my eyes got so small from blowing my nose countless times. In addition to that, I had been coughing very very badly. I actually get woken up by my coughs in the middle of the night. How freaking annoying. It went from dry to phlegmy to dry cough. Thank god, I'm starting to recover at the moment. Still having blocked nose nowadays though. arghhhhhhhhhhh.. die sickness, just die and go away.

Was trying to start writing my 3000 words essay (shared between me and my partner) but so far, I've only written about 100 words. Goodness, gotta have to churn a lot more words than that asap, coz I'm meeting my partner tmw. I can't turn up empty-handed really:S dun wanna be embarassed that I'm such a lousy partner to work with. sighhh... I feel this post is just filled with complaints complaints complaints. Have to start writing happy things when they happen.

Happy 22nd Birthday to Shennnnnnnnnnnn!

2010-04-13T11:38:00.003+08:00

Today we see 134 everywhere..hahah your favorite number, Shen! From now onwards, our birthday ages are not gonna be so glam anymore, like for example 18,19,20,21. But anyway, it doesn't matter, as the number grows, you get to make more decisions on your own.. no need parents' consent, earn and spend your own money, no need parents' money, then soon you get to have your own family, own house, own car, own tuition business, etc etc, ok i'm going offtrack(in other words, u're gonna be more and more independent). Nevertheless, I know you'll always be the same Shenny we know, not gonna grow old with age yes? whether you're 25 or 30 or 40! Must always FEEL young eventhough the number is increasing:P haha, even now, I don't feel we're acting our age much. We're still crappily crapping, talking, laughing and joking like we're freaking teenagers right?? hahahah.

Wishing you Happy Birthday today again...may you have many many more wonderful birthdays to come! Ooh I saw your surprise video..damn funny. You kept squatting down eyy lol

Easter trip

2010-04-07T22:48:00.007+08:00

Hey yo..

Ok, after getting over such depressing issues last month.. I had an Easter mid-semester break starting last Friday. Since then, I've put studying aside.. but was back to the library today..boo. Was just chilling day by day while watching 'The Beauty of the Game' series. Oh and I went to watch 'Clash of the Titans'. Throughout the movie, I kept comparing the storyline with that of 'Percy Jackson's The Lightning Thief'. The story is very much similar to each other except for one major fact that is a bit wrong. In Clash of the Titans, Perseus was son of Zeus instead of Poseidon(in Percy Jackson). Very confusing indeed.

On Monday and Tuesday, I went on a road trip to the Mornington Peninsula. Stayed overnight there too.

Some pics to show:

Hot chocolate at Old Bank Cafe

In a maze!

Feeling so crappy!

2010-03-23T00:00:00.002+08:00

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr!!!

I dunno how to express myself! I'm bursting.
I am 20% happy(in a way), 35% feeling very disappointing and 45% guilty.
It's such a mixture of emotions i dunno how to contain myself.
Happy coz I finally said it after months and months of freaking hesitation and guts-developing.
I know I've let it out and I should be overjoyed and feeling very pheww~ but after a while it sinks in. I can't be entirely happy. It's so hard. It's not possible.
Annoyed that I am so disappointing, I disappointed them and have let their hopes down. It's the worst feeling ever. To be so useless. To shatter ppl's dream. To waste time and money. Where can they hide their faces when ppl ask? Ppl would think, why is she so stupid? Is she just squandering their money there doing nonsense instead? I can just imagine the whispers behind their backs. I'm so paranoid.
Guilty in so many ways... I don't even know where to start. I can't get past my own guilty thoughts. Why did I not be wise? Why why why? There's no way to turn back
I feel so sorry to them.
I'm in deep shit.
I hope I don't disappoint any further.
I seriously have to stick to what I say. For goodness' sake.
It's a long road and to take longer to complete it f*cking bugs the hell out of me.
I hope it comes by quick.
To regret isn't an option now.
ARGH

Nerd reporting from the library..muahahha

2010-03-18T11:31:00.003+08:00

hahaha, i look so nerdy. I'm currently using the laptop I borrowed from the library. And it's quite new and it has a webcam..hahahah! and it's quite clear too.. so I try try to camwhore with it.. but oh my....look so urghh today.

Anyway.. weather update: after the whole hailstone episode, the whole of the next week was HOT! Like 30 degrees hot throughout the week. Talk about weird weather in Melbourne man. It can go from freezing cold or burning hot within a day. So now, I'm happily soaking in the lovely sunshine..coz next week's gonna start getting colder..grrr hate.

Anyway.. life has been pretty boring. All there is to do everyday is to study my arse off.. coz new materials won't ever stop pouring in, well not until the very last week of the semester.. sighhh.. Things are gonna turn ugly soon.. coz I've got two assignments alrdy.. and a grand total of 12 labs, starting next lab.. sigh.. 12 lab reports to do.. can go die.

Ok, I should go now. Supposed to use this precious time to prepare for my tute in half an hr. Tata!

Ice from the sky

2010-03-06T22:40:00.008+08:00

Today I have to blog. hahaha coz it was raining hailstones (literally, ice cubes) from the sky! And it's so weird, coz I've never seen such huge ones and have never seen it LIVE, and the ones I usually see in the past are like tiny, crumbly ice..that is left on the windowsill after I get up. But today at noon, I heard sounds outside and thought why the hell are people throwing stones at the metal railings downstairs. *dong ding dang* ..so I went to have a look see look see. And what I saw wasn't stones, it was hailstones! They were hitting the metal thingy that are usually at the sides of the buildings. And then later they started hitting windows *plak plok plak* SO LOUD! Like people attacking ur windows -->(see this: sounds like that). And they're definitely larger than the ice cubes you get from ur fridge. BIGGGG ones. Probably golf-ball size. And it hit the windows so hard, I thought it might actually crack it, but luckily it didn't. Poor cars, as people drive, the ice cubes kept hitting their windows.. ahhaha like raining ice bombs.

Haha, ok I just saw this video down here. A road being flooded but looks more like a river flowing. Lucky I was indoors.....weeeeeeee

Here's a facebook group, go see the hailstones pics!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&gid=366815328124

But anyway, later during the day, I heard some people's cars got hit and windows got cracked. Scary shit...such weird weather, lucky I was indoors. Then somewhere, it flooded like mad. At some shopping centres, there was a blackout. And escalators and elevators stopped working. And you know what's weird? That it isn't even that cold! The coldest it could possibly be is maybe 16 or 17 degrees.

Went to watch Avatar with 3D glasses at night. I felt the movie was long and storyline not so good. Sue-Mae said it was like Pocahontas in blue..hahah. so true so true.But the 3D glasses did show a very very nice effect during the forest scenes. So glowy and neon.

Gah.. been cleaning like a mad freak for the past few days. So, have been tired and actually missing a few classes due to over-tiredness and over-sleeping..hehe. Still haven't unpacked my luggage fully. Grrr.. so lazy.

I miss Brunei ler.. miss being a lazy person at home, miss Shenny Tang and all friends, miss driving a little.. but still.. time to be a useful student, and use some brainpower!

Hello March!

2010-03-04T02:59:00.005+08:00

Cny is over and the sem break started, how sad rights. Jasmine has left for melbourne dy; her Uni starting soon so Goodluck girl. Hope everything there goes well for you this year ;)

So it's the mid semester break now. Suppose to take this chance to study/revise what has been taught before this break and yet I am still taking my sweet time to enjoy this break like nobody's business; sleeping late, waking up late thus my mornings are usually gone and afternoon is left to lazy around the house and going to work/tutor at 7 til 930. Heh.. my daily life routine now until Sunday most probably. someone please help me............. maybe pour some water to me to wake me up? heh.. And also, Im supposed to do some exercising as the cny has made me gained some weight, but Im not doing anything. argh, lazyness!

so I was listening to some of the songs I didnt know I have in my laptops and I got so emo!! because they are all emo old songsss.. dang~
I suddenly recalled so many things; some past,and yea.. emo stuffs...

.....and as I was browsing through pictures I took from Jasmine few days ago, I REALISED I LOST MY BRACELET! my one and only favourite bracelet. It was my 21st bday gift, with a key and a heart-shaped lock. Argh!! I really dislike myself at times for being sooo soooooo sotong!!! =S

I really hope it'l pop out of nowhere maybe tomorrow or when..... sighs!

ahh, missing quite a number of people now [blame the emo songs. lol]; my friends, friends I have not seen/met for a long time dy...

Adrena Wong! leng!! lol, though we're living in the same Country, and at the same Kampong lagi, but it seemed like we're so far apart. like China and America. we hardly meet each other, not even in Uni though we're in the same Uni. This made me wonder is UBD really that big. lol.

and Jasmine Yap!!! I MISS YOU ALREADY LA! anyways, I'm sorry Jas, dint go to send u off at the airport. I couldnt bring myself there, cuz I was afraid I'll seh bat dat leiiiii very much.. so I chose to stay home though I had already dressed up and all, and when this ahsan called me at the airport, she made me feel so bad for not going. grrr! lolness.

also, Felicia Tee!! F!! I miss You la, and angry you also. How come we did not take a picture of us together when you came back the last time? this was taken like, years ago. so sads` I cannot find a picture of us together with our recent look. lol.. or maybe we did, but because last year I lost all my pictures in my lappie,so yea.. give me if U have yes when u come back this June/July-ish. Also, we need to take more pictures together :D xx

OH! NOT FORGETTING..

Amilyn Quah!!! I miss You too!! lol. this picture of u Cute ler!! hahaha XD

Heh, don't know why, this time when the three of you left for Brunei, I felt a bit sour sour, like 'Seh bat dat' you alll....... aihs! eh seh bat dat in english how to say ahh.. reluctant ka.. sighs` Old dy kua, so very got the feelings. lol. Hahaha, what am I saying. Ohwells =)

nah` the songs just stopped playing, probably trying to give me the signal that it's time to sleep. so Off I go ppls! and I hope there wont be spam commentss eyhs??? hmmm..

Chinese New Year

2010-02-27T00:19:00.004+08:00

is coming to an end already. the 13th day of the lunar new year has just passed half an hour ago and today is the 14th day. My brother is leaving today later to kuching to cont'd his studies and also tomorrow is chap goh meh already. meh, it felt like it was only yesterday we all celebrated the 1st day of cny. How time flies.

Also, it's the start of my mid semester break now. whee! Holidays! But but but.... sighs` this mid sem break has got many things waiting for me to do them; assignments, revisions and more revisions. I want to do well for this semester. I must do well for this semester. Oh yes I can :D

I can also feel that this coming march's schedule will be super hectic for me. Uni and working at the same time is stressful. I just hope I am able to manage my time well. should I really get an organiser? heh` But I doubt I will use them.

Jasmine is leaving soon as well; two more days. Definetely will miss that sampat girl very much. hehe, her sampatness. lol.
sighs! most of my close friends are not in Brunei one :'(

anyhooots, it's time for bed dy... but but..just a few pictures before the end of this post on what I did yesterday :)

visiting at Jenny's place

Tutong Beach before heading to Queenie's place.

i love this shelf, like COOLEY COOL :D

so I guess this is about it. I really enjoyed this year Cny though.. hope this year will bring me good luck. Let's all hope All is well and they will end well during this new 2010 tiger year. Also, must HUAT ahhhhh! heh.

nights :)

GONG HEI FATT CHOY!

2010-02-13T14:41:00.002+08:00

yes yes yes, Tomorrow is the BIG day for the chinese!! It's the Lunar New Year!! It's another new Year again, and this new year would be the year of TIGER!!

so, Here I wish everyone a Very Happy Chinese New Year!!

恭喜发财！祝做生意的商人生意兴隆，读书的呢，希望你们学业进步！最重要的还是要祝大家身体健康！

I guess this is it for this post!! ima go continue my cleaningggg.. yes, Last minute I know.. but that's the UniqueNess of the Tang Family!! YES, it runs in the family; quoted by my mum and my Aunt Joey about the Tang Family! haha

Good day Peoples, and a GOOD Year 2010 for all of us!! HUATTTTTTTT ahhh!! XD

credits to google search image :D

CNY is

2010-02-09T00:56:00.000+08:00

COMING SOON! like 5more days! Gong xi gong xi gong xi NI!! 恭喜你恭喜你恭喜你！

haven't prepare much for it yet； mentally and everything. i'v been busy Uni, work and this and that. sighs! so I wished i had more time to go shopping and all. Last saturday, went down to Miri with '7dreamz' people for shopping But did not buy anything except for 2bags. sighs!

uh-oh, from my last post i mentioned about my supplementary result. hehe, good news peeps! I passed my supplementary result, with the help from my teacher. i really got to thank her, because she mentioned my name in the meeting to pass me; i think i failed the paper though. but seriously, i feel thankful xD
i will work hard, in my own way :D

and so I heard and also read through some horoscope book that this year is not going to be the year for Dragons. this worries me.. because, they said it right about my health. last 2 days, i had the most terrible tummy ache ever. it's not ache, but yea.. it was gastric pain my friend told me.. and gawd! i couldnt stand straight at all, felt like an old lady when walking and the feeling of it i could still remember until today, and that day i had to sing with the pain in my vocal class. imagine that. so the book actually predicted it right, but yes i know that i shouldnt believe too much in horoscopes but ohwells, i really got to take good care of my health, and be extra careful this year.

i watched 14blades just now, and the movie was not so bad. our very local International artist now; wuchun acted in it as well. i would say his acting improved but still the way he talks need to be improvised more.. and i actually loved the way he was dressed inside; his character, but still Donnie Yen's the best in the movie; he is just so... Man! heh` and i picked up a line from the movie which i find it quite meaningful and suits my feeling now.....

还有希望是幸福的 - it's fortunate to still have hope.
and so i'm hoping, and i'm wishing, that somehow someday we will be back to how we used to be. i miss.

New Post for year 2010

2010-01-25T20:13:00.004+08:00

Lol my turn for my first 2010 post. I can honestly say this blog has been neglected...quite badly. haha, thanks to the lazy blog-owners:P

Anyway, let's see.. my 2009 was a rollercoaster ride. A very crazy one, in fact, with so many bumps along the way. sigh. Basically 2009 wasn't a really good year for me. So much shit happened that I've never ever experienced in my entire lifetime. So many complicated situations, that I have lost count on how many there were. I'ts not that everyday is a bad day, there are good days as well. But it's more like there's too many bad days in the year for me to handle. Anyway, I hope to put the past behind. Please, 2010, be a better year.

So, after yearning for months and months to return back to Brunei, I'm finally back in Brunei. Technically, I'm supposed to be back long ago, but was in KL during December and made a trip in between to Bangkok. While in KL, we had a few objectives. To get Amanda's braces fixed asap, shop, and eat! The braces were fixed on Amanda n Rachel.. and as for shopping.. omg, we went almost every other day, I actually felt it was like a job. Job was to shop. The problem why we had to go so many times, is because of either 1) we were really picky, coz we can't seem to buy much. Like I could spend a whole day in a shopping mall, and only buy 1 thing, or 2) the things in KL just don't appeal. I dunno which one is right, I tend to believe it's no. 2). But then again, I AM quite picky. Food, on the other hand, was satisfying. I actually completed my list of food-to-eat-in-KL. Ham dan crabs, sambal lala & sotong & stingray, lok-lok, curry laksa, yong tau foo n chee cheung fun, wat dan hor, KL hokkien mee, Char kuey teow, seafood stuff like balitong, clams(super fav), satay, rojak, kuey chap, oh jian, roti boy, mamak food, ban mee, claypot chicken, sago honeydew, etc etc. Oh and we tried this place, Pasta Zanmai, which serves fusion Jap and Italian food(Y) Yumm.. talking about them makes my mouth water. Yay, going for second round again, coz I'll be back to KL for CNY, for two weeks in Feb. I really wanna go for the buffet meals, heard there's a lot of them that are real good and serves a really wide variety of food.

Bangkok was fun, touring the city was a good cultural experience. There were times that we had language barrier. Like we were asking the salespeople about the things we gonna buy and they didn't understand a single bit. But an odd fact that I've discovered is that a lot of Thai ppl can actually speak Mandarin. Pretty amazing to me. Like maybe out of 10 Thais we meet, about 5 could actually converse in Mandarin. Shopping was great! I am still so regretful for not buying some skirts and pants, I was overwhelmed with choices and was being indecisive. Eventually, we ran out of time, and we had to leave. grrrr.

Now that I'm back in Brunei, I realise all I do is run errands for the family. Top of the list is sending sisters here and there -_-". But it's not like I'm so busy anyway. I'm too free..hehehe. I seriously have to think of some things to do. I just wake up, eat, run errands, eat, sleep. Need to exerciseee.. I keep on gaining weight:S

Ahh.. I'm so relieved, my dad bought my mom a car... now I can use her old car freely without having to wait for her to come home from work or anywhere. yay:)

I went on a crazy spring cleaning spree yesterday for the whole afternoon till night. Threw out SO much stuff. Most were old magazines from like year 2001/2/3, college/uni application booklets, very unuseful documents, old projects from more than ten years ago(as in primary school projects), rusty jewelleries from donkey years ago, unwanted electronic gadgets and wires, useless softwares and half-spoiled things.....so MUCH crap. I managed to fill up one whole black garbage bag till I couldn't lift it, and magazines thrown separately, and two whole rubbish bins. Sheesh, they should have all been gone long ago. The cupboards, drawers and tables are so much clearer now from clutter and mess.

Talking about noob-ness, I was at Bandar today, coz I had a sudden roti kosong craving and I was at Jubilee to collect my mom's DVDs. So, I parked at the side of HSBC near the traffic lights. And after parking, I was like ahh.. nice, perfect parking, just a few steps away from restaurant. And when I got back into the car, I saw this white paper stuck on the car. It's a paper saying I have done a "kesalahan" somewhere. And when I read it was something like, "parking tanpa koupon". So, I went SHIT! Coz it somehow looked like Shenny's accident form, the format and all. And I was so freaked out..hahah I called Shen.. but no answer(shenny was in class:P) I was like crap, I'll make mummy go to court coz of this. Then I started looking for one of those parking stalls where u pay ur parking fee. And there it was, just behind the car. Rushed down the car and asked how to settle that paper. And when the lady said, "tak apa ni, bayar 50 sen saja", I went "phewww!" in my heart. So cheap some more..hehee. So ya.. but anyway, it's not my fault. Totally didn't know that coupon thing existed in Bandar...apparently it was there long ago, around a year back.

After the whole parking fine incident, I went on the highway to Jerudong to buy prawns. LOL. very random. I was also trying to familiarise myself with the highway, haven't driven on it before, though I've been driven on that road countless times. And buy prawns, to try cooking buttermilk prawns. Hope it would come out successful, fingers crossed. Love that dish:P I always order it in restaurants.

Piano talk: I so want to play a full piece, but I'm so lazy whenever I can't continue playing the rest of the piece. As in when I learn the start, I'm ok, but when there comes a part where I can't continue playing, I just stop. I don't strive on. tsk tsk. Then, I move on to another piece. And this happens to all the other pieces. So, I now only know how to play the beginning of a good number of pieces, but never the full thing of each of the piece. GRRrr. I should be more determined to at least finish 1 or 2 OR 3 FULL pieces. I'm so lazy blergh

Okay, time for sleep now.

wow!

2010-01-16T02:37:00.002+08:00

seemed like a super duper long time since i blogged. Just realised my last post was made last year, which means this post would be my first post of the year 2010. ok, since this post is the first post of this year, i'd like to wish everyone and this bloggie, a very Happy New Year 2010. well, 2009 has passed, and to say the truth, year 2009 was not that bad for me; minus those few bad daysss i had. now that i tried to recall back, year 2009 was quite a good year.

so referring to my last post. sighs~ i got supplementary for my maths. my other results were quite good, and i was very satisfied with the results. really. but i just dont know what happened to my maths, and i just took the supp two days ago. it was bad. but i still hope my teacher would give me a pass, if not, i really dont know what else i can do in ubd already. gahhh! Praying hard now!

dang, whenever i think about my supp and all, i'd have no mood at all to do anything, so i guess i'l end this post here. sorry peeps if this post sound a bit... doinks. yea, doinks. im still with my 'doinks' around.

so, till the next post. hope it'd be a good news.. cheers! :D

so it's HOLIDAY now..

2009-12-16T10:48:00.002+08:00

and what have i been up to uh..

jasmine came back to Brunei around the last week of november, and boo! we only met like twice? so jasmine, I behsong u alot ah!
ohwells. kiddings.. but, you still have to know what to do when you come back yes. haha.

the holidays have been boring, and that's because there's nothing much can be done here in Brunei except movies and yumchas' and once in a while, party here and there BUT seriously everything cant get very extreme here. so still... boring! BUT no, im not complaining. it's at least better than having exams and all. heh`

results are yet to be out, and i'm a little worried. sighs` please pray pray i pass every subject and no need to Supp or what. argh, why did i even mention results, i'm making myself worried now. tralalalalalalalalala~

well, i hopee to hear good news abt the results soon la. till here ppls. ciaos`

Lesson learnt, no?

2009-11-20T12:41:00.002+08:00

I remembered once during one of the days before exam back in high school. My dad saw me cramming for the exam the next day and asked "Next time, if you go to uni, you think you can still study one day before for exams mer?" I just shrugged and brushed his question aside. Now that I'm already in uni, the answer to that question is crystal clear. Of course, I CAN'T. Even if I was given a week each for each subject, I would still not remember everything well let alone be well-prepared. I tend to study, and forget. grrr. What's with me saying I have to be consistent throughout the semester and then ended up not doing so? sigh. I can honestly say I only start reading and understanding my whole course materials during study week, about 1 week before exam period. How is that enough for all subjects? I really should be shot dead for not learning my lesson. heh.

Brain overload

2009-11-19T20:21:00.000+08:00

Yays, i never knew having internet on the phone could be so addictive. I've never used d service until about half a year back, though i had it since day 1 of using this phone. *dunno y i can't start a new paragraph* had an open book exam n despite it being open book, i think i did really badly. Sigh. Thanks to procrastination. Oh well.. Man i really dun deserve to pass, but i still hope i do. Anyway, am in library studying for my next exam, last one. Then i realised how soon i'm going back already. Time really flies n it's still quite hard to accept d fact dat another year is coming to an end again. Time to think of some new year's resolutions although i've never actually made up any over d past years. Well, this time i gotta make some resolutions n at least attempt to stick to them. Time for studying. Tata!

I hate this part right here~

2009-11-16T22:24:00.003+08:00

Oh well.. time flies. I'm going back soon. Can't wait, can't wait! I'm currently at the library now at this late hour.. library closes at 3 am during exam period. Suppposed to start studying.. but I always need some warm-up before I study. It's either, facebooking/youtubing/doing dishes/watching tv, or anything that is not study-related. So yes, it's that one of the two dreaded times of the freaking year again - exam period! grrrr. hate it. Well, who doesn't right? This semester, I've been lucky. Instead of having TWO BLOODY FREAKING exams on the very first day of a 3-week exam period, I start on the 2nd week. I've never had exams that start so late(as in only start first paper in 2nd week) so I'm very thrilled, when I have an extra week to study for the exams. That being a good thing, I don't know if I've been utilising the extra time I have well. I was stilll doing last-minute cramming last night, for my exam this morning that I didn't even sleep. What a relieve to be over and done with the killing "suspense" of not going to the exam hall yet though. I mean, it's good that I start late, and get to study more, but still, it seems like it's taking forever for the day to arrive, it's like countdown for about half a month, and finally it's here. So nice to break that stupid suspense, when I finished my very first paper today. I feel much more relaxed and not so tensed eventhough I did really badly in the exam,sigh. Everyone else has already had like 2 or 3 papers and I'm still on 1. But that's fine, MORE time to study! That's the most important part. Still got two more papers to go, gotta gambateh. I know everyone else is also cramming for exams nowadays, Good luck to u guys! Study hard!

Alright, boring exam stuff aside, I feel like getting an internship in Brunei but I don't think anyone wants to get me for only about 1 & 1/2 months coz usually it's for 3 months at least. Haih, maybe should find a random part time job and earn some pocket money to spend. Can't wait for hols, all these studying crap are driving me nuts. grrrr. I think I'll feel the weirdness again, after exams. The freedom to do anything.. so weird really.

I watched the latest Lady Gaga's new video/song -Bad Romance the other day. How come she doesn't sound like herself? Sounds more hoarse or something. And how weird can her video get? It's uber eccentric, I would say, like a whacko, but interesting nevertheless. Go watch it if u haven't already done so. Britney's on her Australian tour now.. still wondering if I'm regretting not going to her concert which is Circus-themed. But still.. how to go and enjoy a concert when you have exams to worry about at the back of your head? Same time, last two years ago, Justin Timberlake was here and I couldn't go. Wanted to go for Neyo's concert but I bet it's sold out and I'm not sure it's already cancelled or not. Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga are gonna be here too next year.

I want to walk the streets, eat n shop, without a thing to worry about. haih.. can't wait. it's coming soon. I feel so bogged down by this whole exam crap. Freedom faster come come!

study period

2009-11-04T00:05:00.000+08:00

Okay.. First attempt blogging using phone internet. I'm apparently supposed to be studying now. Grrr... 12 more days to go n i noe no shit abt all my subjects' contents. Trying to cram all i can. Can't wait for all to be over n then i'll rejoice n 'literally' fly home. Sigh. Okie time to study again :(. My thumbs are hurting lol.

a chapter of my life!

2009-10-21T18:57:00.004+08:00

hoh! it's been a while now since i blogged eyh.

what i can say is that so many things happened for the past few weeks, and i've made a conclusion. this is just not my month!

so let me begin with the Darkest day of my life; 16th of October 2009. I think nothing worse can happen already because the worst has all happened that day, and come to think about it, the series of unfortunate things started exactly when the clock struck 12am to mark the start of 16th october 2009 till the day ended at 12am that night.

first, i got to know an ugly truth about a friend of mine which made me insomnia for the whole night. thanks to a friend who kept me company the whole night over the phone. i only slept for 3 hours of what seemed like an hour only, then i started my tutoring at 9. i messed up my tutoring a little; brain was malfunctioning and i guessed it was because of the lack of sleep.

then the next thing i know, i got into an accident when i was on my way out to meet up some friends to de-stress. yes, another accident [and the LAST one i Pray!] and this time it was undeniable my fault because i banged the car from behind. so Yeahs~ and it was me and my small sister again. i felt so terrible because it's the second time [and the Last time!!] i put my sister into this kind of situation; and this accident made my parents go gagaga as well, because i can actually claim those damages to my car and the car i banged, BUT because i agreed to the woman when she asked to settle it ourselves therefore we did not report to the police thus cannot claim from the insurance company. Dang~ $$$$$

and the 'darkness' did not end there, later that night my xps broke down and i couldnt go into the start page. how can anyone be so unluckyy eyhs. In just 24 hours i had to deal with so manyy 'Hits' ...

and then everything seemed to be going against me as well.. many lil annoying things... and the heart just couldnt feel better; didnt want to meet ppl so skipped saturday's lectures, all of a sudden i just wanted to be alone and all BUT thanks to a few friends who persuaded me to go on a party that night, and i felt so so much better; drank away most of the troubles that night. But just when i thought the badlucks has left, my xps came home without my Pictures from 2004 to 2009 Back-up'ed~
that feeling really sucks big time!! =S

gah!! I have to stay strong man.

and i just realised it's only 3 weeks away from the BIG exam. i really need to pull myself together now for the revision and all.. i dont want to get supp nor a fail in any of the subjects this time. i want to pass every subject and then enjoy my holiday with NO WORRIES like last semester.

ohwells, this is what everyone called 'life' I guess; bound to have ups and downs in it, what matters is how i am dealing with it.

ni shi wo de mo li~

2009-10-09T00:58:00.000+08:00

I just realised I can be quite cranky and grumpy when all these are combined: lack of sleep, hunger, a really bad sore throat and backpain due to wrong sleeping posture. rawrrrrrrrr. What more, I've got the constant stress from this particular subject that's driving me nuts... I really don't think I'll ever be an inventor/creator of anything. Not even in my next few lives.

But anyway.. I'm feeling much happier now. Slept well and sore throat is going away. Hurray! Higher productivity I suppose.

Well, let's have a little update on life. The last few times I've blogged, I've mentioned going to labs every other day. That's still on-going. But it's all coming to an end soon, thank god. Semester's ending, really can’t wait. Even the exam timetable’s out...talk about time to stop procrastinating/going out/have fun and start some hard-core studying (not after all my assignments/projects are over and done with..sigh). Feeling home sick more and more these days. Miss home! Can’t wait to go back.

Last month or so, I’ve not been very studious. Kept going out for drinks, for food, for gatherings/parties. Tsk tsk. All these will be thrown out from now onwards except for some obligatory(seriously!) ones that I have to go.

Ah yes.. my birthday! Had multiple celebrations cause of different groups of people. However, I had a general birthday party at this bar/lounge called Marrakech two days earlier before my actual bday, just right at the start of the September 2-weeks break. It was at this Moroccon-style place, which reminds me a lot of Ali baba, magic lamps, Persian/Arabic stuff, shishas, belly dancers, fire-swallowers. That kind of stuff.. but no belly dancers/fire swallowers. To hire one, I’ll need to pay $250. What for pay that to see a belly dancer? Hehehe. Anyway that night was good.. though the music was a little disappointing. I prefer R&B n Hiphop but they were playing house/funk.But the house/funk was quite adaptable I would say. Then had birthday lunch and dinners with the other peeps on actual bday and next day. We also went to karaoke and managed to nab a free champagne by just saying there was a bday girl there that night. And the person didn’t even bother checking my ID to see if it’s really my birthday that day, how odd. Anyone could lie aye.

After that, it was a downward spiral for “fun”. Lab reports here and there, and after handing in one, there’s another 2 due soon. How “nice”! Pardon my sarcasm, just don’t wanna sound whiny. And then assignments and project came and joined in the “fun”. Haih.. so damn nice I know. So yea, these days it’s all work and no play for me ;) Must work hard now.. play later! Tata!

Some food pics

2009-09-15T23:02:00.003+08:00

The cupcakes don't taste that good.

Yummy Japanese food.

View from restaurant

aihh

2009-09-15T00:16:00.002+08:00

Why so emo? why why why?
This year's emoness exceeds all of the past years' added up together.
Now I get how it feels to be in this kind of situation.
It's like my mood varies widely. I can be all happy now, and then feel very down the next minute.
Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.
So sleepy, but have to do research. grrr

Dunno?

2009-09-13T20:56:00.004+08:00

I dunno man.
I dunno how it is supposed to be.
I dunno why some people can be so determined. It's just sad to see their efforts being wasted.
I dunno why I can't do what I should do.
I dunno how to understand all the underlying actions.
I dunno why I'm such a coward.
I dunno why I can't seem to handle things well.
I dunno why I'm not firm. I can get persuaded quite easily.
I dunno why emo mood strikes again. Not supposed to.
I dunno..............

summer, I see u!

2009-09-13T00:27:00.003+08:00

Today, for the first time in many many MONTHS since Feb/March, the temperature was actually hot enough for me to not wear a jacket. How unusual/weird/unadaptable out of a sudden as we've been in the cold since then. So not used to it.

Went for a haircut with my sis and then went on my maiden voyage to Harbourtown (apparently an open outdoor area kind of shopping place, same as the other Harbourtown-s in Perth & Sydney). That's where the Southern Star you see up there is. But it was halfway being dismantled at the moment. How sad! Apparently due to no public interest and also it had cracks during the heatwave back in Feb. Aihh

There I am trying on this HUGE bow hairband. Sis says I look like Minnie Mouse. lol.

Was feeling so sick for more than a week. Feeling glad that I'm finally recovering. Felt the total opposite yesterday.

back for a while..

2009-09-10T09:20:00.004+08:00

it's been a while now since i last update here eyhs. not my fault. blame.......my life. hahaha, life's been busy.. with uni stuffs; this semester is really hectic. seemed to me like everything is so fast-paced now and for a moment there, i thought i couldnt catch up and nearly 'ki siao' BUT thanks to some friends, who helped me out and consoled me, so here i am now.. still surviving through..heh~

also other than uni stuffs, there were a few other things i was busy with, which i dont quite remember now also..lol, cut it short; i've been busy busy busy bee. [ but i dont see much honeyy anywhere also ler, apakans! hahaha XD ]

anyways, i'm trying hard now to cope well with everything that is happening around me la. it's hard, but i will try my best, and i hope to excel in all. Optimist yes! :)

and argh, i missed my last 3months holiday; the relaxNess and stress-freeNess. i miss i miss I MISS!! sighs.

so i'm in Uni now, waiting for the next class to start, in like 10mins.. so i guess i'l stop 'ere in this post. mind is also kinda blank now.. so.. ciao? hehe

uh-oh, thanks to those who still visit this blog here ey [ i doubt tho.. hahaha!] and Jas, Blog more yes; anything. hope ur coping well there too. hugs :)

Shocks in life

2009-09-06T23:11:00.003+08:00

It has been a weird weekend, and time just seems to fly past like that and it's time to start a fresh week all over again.

I went to IKEA yesterday and oh MY GOD, something shitty happened. An old guy, perhaps in his 50's, stepped on my foot. I was wearing one of my ballet flat shoes and then.. of course my foot was mostly exposed on top. He wore some freaking heavy duty shoes that u seem to use for camping or walking in the forest. I don't exactly blame him 100% as well, coz I was looking down when I walked and my hair on both sides covered my view. His shoes went "crack crack crack" over my bones and for a moment, we seem to almost be tripping on each other, turning and twirling. I think it's coz I wanted to get my foot out of under his shoes and that made him spin and almost trip. Then without an apology, he scolded "Watch where you're going!!" Fucktard. For a moment, I thought a heavy IKEA trolley went over my foot until I realised it was a guy's foot. Goodness! It was at level 9/10 pain and I was anticipating the redness to come in within seconds (which it did). Then about 2 mins later, bruises appeared. Goodness. Darn painful man. Just slight pressure on it would get me screaming in pain.

Ok, that was shitty experience of weekend no. 1

Then shitty experience of weekend no. 2 happened.

The freaking scary glare was so unpleasant. Felt like I could be killed with that cold, hard, deadly stare anytime. But who am I to say it's wrong to do so? It's not like I'm not at fault anyway. There is every right to do so.. even I would if I were in that position. Goodness.. it's not wise being in this other side of the situation. You'd definitely be forever deemed to be that kind of person... even far into the future, no matter how right(or wrong) you think you think you are. Emotional distress much.

Oh naman barahbwa

2009-09-04T02:53:00.009+08:00

---At about 4 am

Felt so tired just now and realised that nowadays my panda eyes have become worst than ever. SO I went to bed early for once. Slept at 12+ am, haven't slept that early in weeks. And then as torturing as it is, I suddenly got up in the middle of the night, tossed and turn and could not sleep anymore till now.

I am wide awake at the moment :( I need to sleep to have a nice, fresh start tomorrow. ARGHHH

Anyway, I'm into Korean artists and songs now. hehehe, so random. But sorry Shen, not TVXQ lol. I like Hiphop/R&B kind, like BIG BANG. I LOVE big bang at the moment lar. Love their songs, videos (esp the dances). And this other girl CL, her rapping rocks. And these Korean singers can actually sing LIVE. I mean, take a look at the HK and Taiwan artists. A lot of them have looks but not the talent, they suck so bad at live singing. These Korean peepz train their arse off for years before coming out to the entertainment industry. Hence, the great vocals and dancing.

Baked these blueberry muffins two nights ago at around a mad time of 5 am. I'm such an owl really.

......................

For some weird reason, I can't upload pics. WTH. zzzzzzz

--- At about 7 pm

Bleargh.. I only got to sleep at 7.30 am and got up at 4.30 pm. ARGH. I shouldn't be sleeping this way. It's not even holidays lar wtf

And Blogger is being an ass not allowing me to upload pics that I had to return to old school Photobucket. Oh well, here are the pics:

Doesn't taste that great as it is MY FIRST TRY. Taste like cupcakes instead of muffins. Apparently not supposed to mix too well, just have to mix for a while only, not thoroughly. Will attempt again when I am too free.

On the other hand, I went and bought two pretty cupcakes from The Cupcake Bakery instead. Pics later

My second home is uni :(

2009-08-26T13:58:00.004+08:00

Blogging from uni again this time.

Was youtubing and I'm happy that two of my favorite male artists came out with albums. Tank and Gary Cao. I think Tank came out with his a few months ago already. But yea..happy to hear new stuff from them. What about Jay Chow, JJ Lin and LeeHom?? No idea. I realise I prefer songs from male artists as opposed to those from female artists. Females.. I don't really know who I like, I'd say A-Mei and Fish Leong.

Weather is getting so gloomy these days, with howling winds (and hailstones in some parts of the suburbs) yesterday. wth.

Sigh.. my group is so behind in our project as compared to the other group who's also doing the same project. Oh man.. we gotta step up. It's not like we procrastinated that much anyway. It's just that we just can't figure things out that well. We always get stuck and call it a day. I guess researching extensively would be the key.

Refreshing!

2009-08-24T09:14:00.003+08:00

I'm in uni blogging now at the moment when I'm supposed to do some preliminary work for my lab session later on. Oh well, just feel very energetic at the moment, I don't know why. It's weird cause I slept so little. I only slept for about 4 hours and given that I had more time to continue dozing off, I actually did not take that chance to do so. Instead, I went surfing the net, particularly, online "window" shopping before getting ready for class. Go check it out.. I like this site --> www.asos.com Love their dresses and bags. Another site I like is forever21.com

Anyway, I just feel so weird cause the other days that I slept so much, I felt so extremely tired to the point that I just want to sleep and can't sit up straight and do work the whole day. I just kept thinking I'm sleepy and tired, I don't wanna do anything. But today after only about 4 hrs of sleep, I am feeling pumped with energy. Hahaha, ok should take this opportunity to finish my lab stuff. heheh.

Lalala, I hate winter, I want summer. Oh man.. summer days, please come fast. It's odd how after living in hot weather for so many years, I still prefer the sunny days, they are such great motivation to get up and go out and do something and soak up the sun :P. Hate the cold, windy days, where I just wish I didn't have to get out of the house and get my own hair blown all over my face as soon as I step out of the front door. Sheesh.

Ok, eating time. Tata!

Who reads this blog?

2009-08-23T20:45:00.004+08:00

heheh, a question I ponder. Seriously, I dun think there's many who personally know me. haha, Shen, I think majority is your fwens.. but it's alright :)

Actually, I think I blog to either release frustrations, happiness, whatever feelings I have cooped up inside of me, or just blog a diary entry of life so far.

Sigh.. we all have our mountain-high pile of uni/school work to do. Siennn
I miss home aye... wanna do nothing, but wake up late everyday, go limteh, go shopping, play piano, watch TV all day long, go on road trips anywhere.

Don't really know how my end-of-the-year plans will be when I'm back in Brunei. Apparently, I'm supposed to be back in KL for CNY. Kind of weird and messed up, coz I wanna go to KL during December. Will definitely have to make a trip back to Tawau as well.. to sort out driving license thing.. then maybe spend a few days there with cousin and relatives, haven't been back for a while.

I feel like making egg tarts, cheesecake(baked/chilled), the fuzuk/barley/bak goh dessert drink, that sago with gula melaka thing, konnyaku jelly, agar-agar but why am I not making them? Dunno.. lazy + too much effort from me at the moment. I'd rather channel all my time to do my uni work. It's like I wish there's more time in a day. And oh, I sleep too much these days.. like almost more than ten hours a day, and due to oversleeping, get even more tired. Sucks. Should really correct my sleeping pattern.

Right now, my plan everyday is to keep up to date with my subjects, finish up assignments/lab reports asap to make way for studying/spending some time adequately on my design lab subject. So much extra research to do.. to implement our crazy project. Damn.. how much harder can things get as u progress higher up your education level? Infinitely hard I guess.

p/s: I want to go buy a pretty cupcake or two to eat.

chocolate season

2009-08-04T23:07:00.003+08:00

Made this last night. I realise I've been indulging in too much chocolaty stuff these days. That and procrastinating gym time = Not good, tsk tsk.

Aku sedang beremosi

2009-07-31T00:24:00.003+08:00

Dunno if this is my first attempt at writing Malay or not, but ah whatever, feel like writing in Malay randomly. Sometimes, I'll rojak it with English if I dunno what's the word in Malay.

Ok, jangan ketawa tentang Bahasa Melayuku ya? Sudah lama tidak berbahasa dalam Bahasa Melayu, aku fikir ada beberapa tahun sudah. Kalau sekarang aku pergi menduduki peperiksaan BM, aku 100% akan gagal teruk-teruk.

Anyway, sekarang playlistku sedang bermain lagu-lagu yang sangat emo. Oleh itu, saya sedang beremosi, haihh. Apa lagi, hidupku sangat sedih. Setiap aspek dalam hidupku pun tidak beberapa baik. Selalu ada banyak masalah yang macam tidak akan berhenti.

Aye, cannot already..
Malay FAIL!
I think it's not even up to conversational level. So much for studying it for 12 years of my life. tsk tsk.

So, yea I wish things could take a better turn soon. I don't understand why I trap myself in such situations. If only I had thought of things ahead way earlier. If only I have thought of the consequences they would bring. Eeesh, why does this year seem so problematic for me? Damn annoyed.

sniffs!

2009-07-26T13:33:00.004+08:00

stupid brother has just left, an hour ago.

without realising, the time flies.

a month has passed by so quickly.

him, preparing to leave already.

a pose, before he leaves.

and off he left with my parents.

see You again Brother, in... a month or 2months time..

that is if he's coming back for the 10days holidays. he said he might be going vacation to somewhere. Grr!! *hearts*

Relieved

2009-07-20T23:04:00.014+08:00

Ok, now time for some blogging of very random things.

Last time, I said I was supposed to be updating on Sydney + Gold Coast stuff. But I'm still very lazy. Lazy to upload pics, lazy to write a lenghty account of the trip. heheh, one day, one day, I will. Even the HK one, I don't bother to blog about anymore. Sien.

Going back to uni next week. So dreading it. I feel like holidays love to zoom pass us everytime. It's always quick and before u know it, u are back to hell again. Hell being uni/work. Ok, maybe not so drastic, but yea, u do know uni/work = stress to the max!

Have been on Facebook very often lately. I dunno, just keep clicking this and that. And it's very weird and stalker-ish, that Facebook now allows or let's say "invites" you to view other strangers' photo albums just because one measly photo of one measly friend of yours got tagged. tsk tsk. Logged into my extremely inactive Friendster account the other day and found that it is SO darn laggy. Like when u view a pic, and click to go to the next pic, it lags like crap.

Lately, I've been fussing over a lot of things. Like what electives to take next sem, how to arrange accomodation for next year to move in with my sis, how to be a more organised and disciplined person (*ahem, every one of us fusses about this, I guess), how I'd be able to finish watching the crazy amount of dramas/movies I've been downloading and have never watched since 2006, and other how to's on making life better. I know, I know, life is never perfect, there's always gonna be obstacles to go thru every now and then. Sheesh, if only life is a breeze. Meh, dream on.

Random thought. I've always wanted to go bungee-jumping since my "teenage" years. But now that I think of it, howwww to bungee jump when I'm so afraid of heights. It's like even a few floors up and I'm shaking in fear already when I look down. Maybe I should do it to overcome the fear..hehe :P Down with you, acrophobia.

Movies I wanna watch currently: Harry Potter & Bruno
Movies I have yet to watch but MUST watch: X Men Origins: Wolverine & Fast & Furious 4
Movie I have recently watched: Transformers, quite good, but the ending was a bit too easy and abrupt & The Proposal & The Year One (so silly, I tell u) & Terminator Salvation.
Movies I look forward to watching: Public Enemies & G.I. Joe (Channing Tatum looks so HOT)

So, am currently looking thru HK pics from last December, and decide to post some up.

so, indeed

2009-07-17T12:46:00.010+08:00

this month was more happening than last month, all the outings and gatherings.. made my holidays more memorable and made me livelier, and also fatter i guess, but im happy and thankfult, that everything has been going on quite well for me :)

but! screams! holiday is ending soon. i gotta work hard next semester, really hard!

anyhoots, in this post, i'l be posting up some picturess of my recent outings so Yeahs! bear with me eyhs, friends~

michelle was back, and so we met up and did some catching up.
alister and amilyn were there too.

and then there were a lot of times dinner at excapade, and this was with my brother who jus came bck for holidays.. excapadeNess! :P

and then there is this lunch gathering at charcoal. with felicia...

and also Josh and Kahsiong...and Nick.

and after the lunch, the guys went to Jollibee's to get some icecream.

and then there's the Tutong + Kb Trip. this picture above is taken in Tutongness.

and this one up there is taken in Kb-ness :)

...and the peoples who went.. :)

and then there was this dinner.

celebrating Wanru's grandpa's bday at orchid garden.

and later, the sleepover ;)

and the swimmingness, the next day.

and later followed by... meeting up with my cousins at their place for celebrating my cousin, Stephanie for getting the scholarship to UK, and also my other cousin, Emerson for getting into ITB! im so proud of them! *loves*

aunt Joey and myself.

the Tangs' chabos.

and later we went to swensens to hang out..

ahbii and stephanie!

and lastnight we went to Bandar to check out the 'gerai perayaan' and also to farewell yengfang.

boohoo. she's leaving to KL then to Australia to complete her degree there so Yeahs.. all the best to her ;)

coolNess!! this pic will ends this post here :)

boohoo!

2009-07-13T17:51:00.004+08:00

less than 3 weeks to Uni re-starts, and i haven enjoyed enough my holidays yet la!! i dont want, i dont want to go back to stress mode, and study mode, because then i will be super stress. Next semester will be very crucial for me, as i have to be sure i pass the Mathss i failed in my first semester. i must pass, i must pass, and so i must work hard, and working hard means there will be a lot of pressure and pressure means Stress!!

ok, i dont know what did i just blab-ed and if it doesnt make any sense, dont mind me. im not in my right mind now.

sighs, is maths really my thing? tell me friends, if u can see me as a teacher, a maths teacher....

Argh~!

2009-07-13T13:27:00.003+08:00

Life can be a bitch when u're not a self-motivated or disciplined person.

Sigh. So frustrating.

How cool is that?

2009-07-11T13:27:00.003+08:00

I actually BUMPED into our beloved Sana in Sydney in a sushi train restaurant. So damn coincidental, we couldn't believe it ourselves. Haven't seen her since our SGS era, man. It was great seeing her again, haven't changed a bit! Still as chatty and cheerful as ever.

Back

2009-07-08T21:10:00.002+08:00

HALLO!!!!!

I'm not missing or dead yet though it might seem so.
Still very much alive lol.

Sorry for not updating, hehe.
After exams, just lazed around everyday.
Then went off to Sydney on 29th June.
Sydney to GoldCoast on 4th July.
Drove from GoldCoast to Brisbane this afternoon.
Flight from Brisbane back to Melbourne.
Home not long ago.
Exhausted.

haha, Shen, Not so lucky to get interviewed for Jay's concert la!!
But yeaa.. his concert was good!!
More updates next time :)
Need to sleep soon

boohoo~

2009-07-06T09:50:00.004+08:00

less than a month now before the Uni reopens and my third sem; 2nd year starts.

NOoooo, i'm so not looking forward to it la. i stil prefer to spend my everyday life lazily+unstressly laaa. lol. dmm~

so this month indeed was a lil more happening than last month. been out, eat and yumcha lately..and if stayed home, it'd be series, eat and sleep. sound so jobless and no life rights, but i simply like, and enjoy. haha. life with no worries lerr and yes, i should be grateful. thankyouu papa and mama. hearts them!

hmm, more to updates actually but it's early in the morning and i am.. blank + a lil lazy now to blog on. and the reason for this post is also because I dont want to open the blog and see the post is still 'Father's day 2009' !! LOLness.

Jasmine Yap!! mana U kan, no online nor updates.. oh yeahs, i saw the news on Jay's concert in sydney and when i read on the news, they interviewed a young student on the concert.. i thought it'd be You. hahaha. lol... Quicks, i wan updatesss on the concert and ur sydney trip k k :)

sorry for the 'doinkness' in this post.

ba, till the next update ppl ;)

Father's day 2009

2009-06-23T01:45:00.011+08:00

was celebrated like how Mother's day did. My mum's friendss all gathered around again at the Mok's house and so the fathers' celebrated together, this time however were missing 2 families but uhwells, the fathers, mothers and the kiddos' enjoyed pretty much also. i really liked how Mother's and Father's days are celebrated this year... nowadays mothers' like to potluck and party just like us too. Hahaha..

so we took many picturess, but in this blog i wil upload more pictures on the eve of father's day's event.. hehe, but just to share a few pictures at the Mok's place.. :)

the fathers' and the cake.

and what the few of us were doing in the room while the fathers and mothers were downstairs chatting and gossiping away. Hahaha..

Yes. Vaining with the self timer. Haha..

anyways, so I planned to blog about the event on the eve of father's day.. hehe, my family went to dinner together with grandparents, aunties, uncle and cousinss to celebrate father's day. it's always nice to have dinners together because that is when we cousins, aunties, uncles and grandparents can meet and chitchats to do some catching up..

i cannot believe my ears when i was told that my aunt Joey is left with 1 month away to her due date. how time flies huh.. cant wait to have a new baby cousin to play with.. [aw-no, im missing my lil debbie cousin now. haha, dmm] also, it was great to see my cousins again; emerson, stephanie and james, though james seemed to be a lil distanced frm us but yeahs.. cant wait to go out with them again when my brother comes back this week.

haha, i can feel already that this month will be a lil more happening than last month. hehe, which is good, and i'm happy. everything seemed to be going on well for me at the moment; my results were okayly good [not very good though..but still, i passed], my trip was great, and also at least im earning a lil money now for myself; enough to pay for badminton once a week? haha.. so basically life's good, now.

ok, i guess enough said, pictures time ~

aunt Joey and her nieces

aunt Joey and her Tangs' nieces. Haha

the Father's Day Cake; spoiled dy the sides :S
but it was really nice. mango flavoured cake if i dun remember wrongly.

Grandpa!!! XD

yuki and aunt Joey

bii and yuki

emerson and myself. woo, black in action!

bii and emerson.

Uncle Eric, Grandpa and Dad happily blowing away the candles and cutting the cake.. LOL!

bii and grandpa

myself and grandpa

father and son. the son is my dad. haha, dont mind me. LOL! midnight hype again =.='''

ok, so that ends this post here la. I'l be showing this post to my dad tomorrow or something, so yeahs........

Happy Father's Day, Dad! You Know I love You! XP

La di da~

2009-06-22T08:59:00.003+08:00

Hi ya,

On holidays, but still have lots of school-related things unsettled.
Oh whatever, couldn't care less for the moment.

There was this one morning, it was freezing cold. I think it's the coldest so far this time around that I've experienced, 5 degrees -_-"

I have a screwed up body clock, but it's a bit balanced out now.
Have been sleeping too much nowadays, till late afternoon coz I sleep late in the morning.
Last night was a bit different.
Went to bed at 12 pm. Got up at 4 am. Laze around till 6.40 am. GYM!!
Ah, I feel very proud of myself. Who the hell goes to gym at around 7 am in the effing morning?!
The sun didn't even bother to rise yet :)

Gym for an hr and then when I'm out of the building, it's a bright sunny day, gym done, grocery shopping done. Just looked a bit stupid in sweaty gym clothes while people on the streets look neatly dressed to go to work/school/wherever.

Some people live a fast-paced life, a whole day filled with things to do, with little spare time to actually chill and relax. They wish they didn't have to be in that kind of situation.
Some though, chill too much and regret not living life to the fullest every single day. Like u could have done this and this and that if only u get your ass up and moving.
Balance is the key! Work hard, play hard.
However.. I can't seem to do so. argh!
hate
To me, fun = guilt

Feel like playing piano again and going back to my granny hobby of cross-stitching. Have not cross-stitched for about 2 years or so. And I actually left all the cross-stitch things back in Brunei, thinking that there's no point bringing it here, coz I won't have time for it anyway.

Off to Sydney in a week. Not that hyped yet. Maybe after sorting out the itinerary I would be.

Happy Holidays, ppl ;)

so Im back.

2009-06-19T14:52:00.009+08:00

fish leong's concert was awesome.

kl trip was superb.

back to brunei is happiness.

haha, dont mind me. im just hyper..

so friends have asked me to update my blog about my kl trip, especially on fish leong's concert... well, what i can say is i really enjoyed her concert very much; her choice of songs and all, and her guest of the night was guang liang. the encore of the concert i liked best, because she talked a lot there [ she talk very sampatly though, i like! haha..] and she invited a few of her friends like ahniu, zchen, phoebe, and another guy i forgot the name.. overall, the concert was worth every penny!!

i dint take alot of photos also that night, because i dint have a camera [grr, still looking for a nice affordable camera..any suggestionss?] and also even if i have a camera, there was no time for me to take and all, too busyy concentratin on the concert. hehe, but I managed to take a few pictures with my sew810i and also from my fren's camera so here are some of the picturess...

me, myself and i.

xinyi and myself

peiyi and myself

sisters

the three of us.

it was still early and empty.

and then people started to come..

then Full House!! frm the news it says roughly around 10,000 people!! ;)

first, a magician came out to perform some acts, and then dancers came out...

and then a gift box appeared...

woohooo, fish leongg came out from the giftbox! haha..

after this my friend didnt really take more pics already because we were all too concentrating in her concert. so yeahs, once again overall, i really enjoyed her concert, to the maximum.

also, overall this time my kl trip was great. not to mention i did a lot of shoppings, the usual shopping malls in KL, but i dint buy a lot for myself this time, i dontknow why.... maybe it's the mood again, the shopping mood there is not strong, again, and it is always like that..... whenever i come back to brunei, i will be regretting this and that.... sighs!

but anyhoots, overall a great trip. the companies were good and all. thanks to peiyi and wanyen for the accomodation and the laughssss *hearts*

hmm, some more pics to share during the trip? nah` i think i'l save it for my coming posts so yeahs, till my next post.

oh oh, just want to share one last pic in this post before i end, because i was browsing through the pictures and find this one very nice and I like. hahaha.. ciao~

Exam Anxiety

2009-06-09T04:05:00.002+08:00

Haihh.. I am in deep shit. hehehe

Exam in 3 hrs and I'm cramming my brain to the brim with past year papers' answers..ehhehe, not the most efficient way to study, but wth, the past year papers are very very similar to the exams anyway.

So scared. And also.. I have two exams today. Why why why? 2 exams, on the VERY FIRST DAY of exams. argh! And I only have 1 hour to run from one place to another place, many many streets away to sit for my other paper in the afternoon. Sucks.

Another thing is, since we're the first to sit for exams, we are guinea pigs! U know why? Coz right, the state of Victoria (where Melb is) has the HIGHEST number of swine flu victims, around 900+ already, compared to other states. Darn it. Whoever goes back to Brunei from Melbourne "might" get quarantined, apparently. Oh shites! So yea, back to my point, u know exam hall right? Filled with all sorts of people, and the hall is HUGE, like an exam session can have hundreds/thousands of students taking the exam all at once. So, it's pretty logical for me to worry about getting the damn flu. hehe. Let's hope my immune system is very strong yea. Heard some ppl are gonna wear masks, I shall see how many later on. This is like SARS already man.. maybe not so deadly, but still. It's spreading like wild fire. I still remember blogging about this thing more than a month ago, and at that time, there was NO recorded cases in Australia yet.

Ok back to cramming. BYE!

i am so full...

2009-05-23T00:54:00.004+08:00

even though the dinner was 3 hours ago? i cant sleep, and my series are still loading so i guess i'l just blog while waiting for the series and myself to feel better from the full-ness i'm feeling...

so, a few of us had dinner at fel's place where felicia, josh, jenny and myself made the dinner. yes, we were the cook of the night~

we started cooking at around 6ish and we made salad, lasagne, bbq chix wings, wedges, and grassjelly drink. the whole cooking thing was actually fun, with all the choppings and marinating.. and hot too, because joshua was literally sweating like hell..haha, but i guessed we all enjoyed eyhs.. and i need to give two thumbs up for Jenny, because she was like the head of the cooks of the night; guiding us the way through. hehe..

but, if we were to rank ourselves, hmm.. i'd be the lowest rank there just now...not knowing anything at all! hmmm... more to learn!!

watson and jonan joined us later at almost 8pm and watson brought a wine and jonan made lemon tea ping. hehe.. ;)

we had the dinner at around 8.30ish and all the food turned out really good. hehe.. two thumbs up to ourselves! Hehehe. some pictures i took with my sew810i=p

appetizer - salad

main courses; chicken baked lasagne and bbq chicken wings

light snacks - wedges, freshly cut from potatoes.

desserts - grassjelly drink

joshua.

leng and myself.

felicia dearest

jonan.

watson and jonan.

uh-oh, the guys had some bananas too after the dinner, lol..there were some incidents with the bananas though...hahaha and also we had some thai mangoes we bought from huaho during our shopping... overall, we had a lot of things.....
which is why, i seriously need to do some exercises soon or else.....what will become of me?! hahahaha

hmm, in less than 6 hours i'l need to wake up..because i'v promised my mum i'd go jogging with her in damuan park with her friends so YES! jogginggggg...hehe,and in the noon some hiking if possible... ;)

so, goodnights ppl!

see...

2009-05-17T14:20:00.004+08:00

i knew i would feel silly and would think 'serious mer, why sound so emo' LOL! anyways, im ok already from the previous post..so yeahs!! ;)

So last night went to bunny's bday celebration at his place, had a great time there with some frens. In the middle of the party, jenny, jewel, carmen and i went to Jonan's place for a while too as he was having a bbq party there too. it was great seeing him again.

Overall last night was fun and heh` last night i had my first late supper for the year.. at 2ish am. HEH~ i never liked having supper because, yeah..fats~ but last night when we reached sempurna at 2ish, i suddenly craved for wantan soup so yeahs.. ;)

EXERCISES HAVE TO START THIS WEEK!! PEOPLE; SPORTS PEOPLE WHO IS READING THIS POST NOW, PLEASE DATE ME! hahaha, sound so desperate, but yeah im serious.

hmm, i think i should end this blog here..as i am supposed to be sitting beside my students now guiding them in their malay papers but instead i ended up blogging here... haha.

woohoo~ Holidays.. I like! ;)

!@#$$%^&****

2009-05-16T00:48:00.005+08:00

ahhh, im feeling the worst now, so please do not mind what i am going to write after this!!

what is wrong with them?! what do they want from me?! what do they expect from me?! what do they want me to be?! ARGH!!! I JUST HATE IT, HATE IT WHENEVER THEY JUST SAY THINGS WITHOUT USING THEIR BRAIN, BUT THEIR MOUTH. IT'S LIKE THE USUAL WORDS OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITHOUT THINKING IF THE SITUATION IS RELEVANT FOR ALL THOSE WORDS!!!

arghs, and they always have to make me feel this worst! i hate it, i hate it, and i hate it!!! im so at the verge of breaking down now.. i just feel like i cant take it anymore. i need them to know, to understand, and not just think from their point of view, but THINK FROM MYYYYY POINT OF VIEW!

ugh, im feeling the most effing stupid feelings right now.. and i know, when i see this post the next few times, i will be wondering if this is so serious to have felt tis way.. BUT one thing i know for sure now is that i am feeling soo hurt right now, and i wished somehow they'd know about this and make this pain go away.... ARGHS!!!!!!

sorry if u read this post till the end here, i just need a place to express them all out.

Boys before Flowers

2009-05-14T18:55:00.005+08:00

HAHA Ok, this post is written coz I saw Shenny's twitter msg.

There was this once where my family and I went to Macau (for a one-day-getaway while in HK), to one of the recently-built casinos there, the Venetian, during last December. So, as we were about to go home, we walked towards this particular bridge, which we had to cross to get to the road to hail for a cab (btw, the cabs in Macau are so cool, coz U DON'T OPEN THE DOOR YOURSELF! hehe, it's automatic! I was quite amazed at that, really. Of all places, I didn't imagine Macau would have such high-tech door-opening mechanisms in their cabs).

So, as we head towards the bridge, we saw some filming activities going on. And we were reluctantly allowed to cross the bridge by the film crew people cause we seemed to be disrupting their work or something, so they hastily asked us to cross over. Then of course, our curious eyes kept looking at what's going on at the set, like are they filming soon or not? Haha, then as we were at the other side of the bridge, my sis whipped out her camera and snapped some pics. ehhehe, I bet if any one of them sees us taking pics, we'll definitely get scolded or something :S

This must be main actress?

woohoo!!

2009-05-13T14:27:00.002+08:00

YAY!!! officially free from exam and so the stress in me has also gradually decreased to the minimum! how overjoyed can i sound huh... lol!

i have so many things in mind now... so many things to want to do; hang out with friends, prepare for my kl trip, do lots and lots of exercise to reduce my fats and to watch lots and lots of my unwatched series.. too many to list down actually! and oh, i also hope i will be able to learn how to cook one or two dishes because i just got complains from my mum, again that my 8 or 9 years old cousin knows how to cook better than me =.='''

haha so, many things to do in the list and i hope i have enough time to do all... hehe, 3 months eyhs!! but but, if i have to do supplementary then it's only 2 months then BUT *CHOIIIIIIIII* touch many wood that i wont get supplementary and passed every subject!! XD

hahaha, i'm so speechless now. too happy for words. i havent feel so free with nothing to worry for a long time already, not that i dont have to worry of my results, but at least i dont need to worry abt it for now =)

once again, YAY!! hahahaha. DMM xP

Very random pictures

2009-05-13T09:39:00.012+08:00

Midnight rant

2009-05-13T02:41:00.002+08:00

Hello again..

Doesn't seem like a very long time since I last blogged, that's what I feel.

Anyway.. If I don't blog now, I think it'll be hard to remember what I wanna blog about after a while.

Aye, all you people out there, I am so Jealous laaa! I see your 3-month holiday, and crazy holidaying ahead. Jealous~ I was looking at the summer gathering thing that was posted on Facebook by Amir. Omg, then I realised, I think only Australia is weird. Weirdly located and has weird climate. So different from a hell lot of other places including school term. You see, people who study at say, US, Canada, UK, Singapore, HK all have mid-year long holidays. Whereas, here, down under, it's only at the end of the year that we get the long holidays. eeeee.

I think everyone's done/almost done with their exams, esp Shenny tang, today some more! Wish you good luck, girl! Hope you do well. As for me, I'm counting down the days..argh, start on 9 June. The thing is I wanna fully concentrate on my studying/revising, but cannot. WAaaaaaa. so annoyed. why can't they finish giving all of the assignments/tests/labs earlier so that we can study for exams full on? sigh.

Went to watch a Cantonese stage play last week called 'The Importance of Being Vulgar'. Only a few days before I went to watch did I hear people saying that there's gonna be real swearing during the play. Reason is cause the play is sort portraying the use of profanities in the busy, fast-paced life set in HongKong. So yah, all the vulgar words that you can ever ever ever think of in Cantonese, have been said in the play. Quite an interesting concept, really. It's not everyday u find a play with people cursing non-stop openly. Like for example, there's this scene, where a guy and girl accidentally banged into each other at the shoulders, then a whole 3-minute or so, of scolding each other including insulting their ahem private parts. hehe. Then there's another intersting scene, with a professor teaching u how to swear correctly (like how to incorporate your profanities into ur everyday words with correct grammar). funny stuff.

Last Thursday, I got to go for a really random karaoke session. We only went at 12 am and had to leave at 3 am when they closed. So short time only :( .. but fun nevertheless. But fret not, a few days later, there was a potluck gathering during the weekend, and the host had a freaking karaoke machine at home ahhaha. So, yeah, get to sing 2nd round in that week but mostly old songs, like maybe up to Year 2000 songs. Moreover, I finally got to have an 'opening ceremony' (not literally) for my cake mixer. haha, I made the chilled cheesecake for the potluck which I used to always make years ago for the first time here officially, with a cake mixer. The last time I made one here without a cake mixer, it turned out weird as hell. So yeah, very glad I made my family bring it over when they came here earlier this year.

Oh and I have officially stepped down as welfare officer of IESS as a new committee has been elected and I didn't wanna run for any posts this year, too busy with schoolwork man. hheehe, Am feeling quite relieved but it has also made me reflect on how being a committee member for one term (a year) has made me learn a lot of things in uni that I would not, have otherwise been able to. Things like organising events for members, liasing with uni staff, doing publicity runs, working in a team to improve social wellbeing of international engineering students all under a tight budget. Hahha, I sound like I'm writing a resume. But yea, it was quite scary on the funds part, coz we had so little funds at the beginning, we thought we had to close down the society, which would be quite saddening, as it has been running for about 15 years now. Talk about heritage.

Now, before I bore you to death, I'll just stop here. Just had to pen down those thoughts of mine. Nowadays, I'm gonna be studying for the remaining days of the month and half of next. sighhh.. gotta work hard. Just have to keep thinking of the end result, more effort, better results yea.

p/s: OH man, I wish I could sit here all day long surfing net. I realise I've been missing out a lot in the cyberworld. But then again, who the hell sits down all day surfing net? pfft. stupid thought.

Quite sick of cracking my head over some freaking theories every now and then to apply to the questions I have to answer. And they're utterly UN-straightforward. The key is to manipulate away to get what you want.

I miss piano playing during intervals when studying for long hours.

Motivation, where are you? Please come back. I think I'll guide it back by first opening my books and papers. Then I shall stare at the unfamiliar materials that ought to be familiar to me by now and PANIC and study frantically. Why does that sound so unrealistic? OR maybe, I should be surrounded by smart people talking away about the materials I should know and then feel embarassed that I don't know them and study away. Hah, that might work!

Ok bye bye bye.. going to open my books

TODAY 10/05/09

2009-05-10T12:08:00.002+08:00

is Happy Mother's Day!!

here I wish all mothers around the world a very Happy Mother's Day! especially to my dearest mother ;)

last night my family and I went to kakak tua Mok's house for mother's day celebration, as usual it was like a potluck and as soon as everyone reached, we started to eat. Very nice food as always and everyone had funs I guessed; the mothers' gossipping around the latest news they have, the fathers' talking about their cars and works stuffs, the boys' playing around and us girls' gossipping away.

Haha, but it was slightly different in the girls' group last night, because there were missing a few ppl; they are all overseas studying now, actually it was just less noise, but still... kakak tua mok was hyper and high enough to make us all hav enough laughs! Hahahaha=p

before we all head home, we had cakes too!! there were 11 mothers if i am not mistaken, and we all sang mother's day song for them and they blew the cake together. I thought that was a very nice way to celebrate mother's day... mothers celebrate mother's day together. haha XD

so I still have 3 more days til I get my total freedom. I am so very excited, but afraid too because I am left with the 2 hardest papers for me and I am stil very unprepared, but uhwells.. if I am destined to fail, I will fail no matter what right so I'l just try my best! =D

anyhoots, I think it is quite confirmed that I am going to fish leong's concert this June13th so I am also looking forward to that day! hehehe. HAPPY!

okie now, more updates sooon and till then, ciao!! XD

5 days to...

2009-05-08T12:19:00.003+08:00

F-R-E-E-D-O-M and i believe b-o-r-e-d-o-m as well.. Hahaha!

cant wait, cant wait.. in 5 more days, i will be as free as a bird for like 3 months! but in the 3 months i'l be worrying like shit for my results whether i'l pass this course or not.. sighs!

anyhoots, i stil have 3 more papers to go so im going to work hard for it yes!!

uh-oh!!! i seriously hope i'l be going to fish leong's concert this 13th June!! i'l plan all after my exam yes!!

hehe, i've reached the end of this post now so bbye and til my next blog, which wil be after my exam? nah` we'l see.. ;)

cheers everyone!

5more days..

2009-04-29T18:41:00.006+08:00

to SEMESTER EXAM, and here i am now doing some facebook quizzes killing time when i am suppose to be using my time wisely doing some revision!! 'grrrrr.....

cant wait for all these to be OVER, and enjoy the laid back life that i am sure i'd be complaining by then, but at least i think it's better to be worrying about exams around the corner and be sitting for exams eyhs!?

anyhoots, this noon i just heard from the radio that Fish Leong is coming back to Malaysia for her 'Today is Valentine's' concert on the 13th JUNE!!! I WANT TO GO WANT TO GO WANT TO GO VERY MUCHHH!!! but sighs` i cannot think of anyone who would want to go with me.... because, as i know, no one around me is a fan of fish leong like i do, so anyone?!!!! please do tell me and so we can plan the trip together or something. hehe..

uh-oh.. i just got picturess from jayden so here are some of the pictures from my 21st bday party...

my family. i liked this pic very much, but too bad my sis and bro was not in the picture, if not this picture would be Perfect.

my uni-coursemates..

carmen, jewel, myself and apple.

larrie,adrena,bong,myself, jenny and simmie

myself, kaiping,pk and yc.

jung,yenthin,aneurin and myself.

group picture ;)

'i wish for all my dreams to come true!'

*fffffffffhhhhhh*

I AM OFFICIALLY 21!! *brrr.. SO OLD!! :(

BYTHEWAY, I really LOVE the cake very much!! maybe it's the number. Hahaha!

aaahh i miss watching tvb series

2009-04-29T17:07:00.001+08:00

i was clearing up my music folder and came across sound tracks from plain love, herbalist affair etc. if i remembered correctly i got these songs from jasmine yap. hehee.

and then suddenly i miss watching these shows! haven't watched much since.. since... 2003? omg lah i didn't even watch war and beauty SO SAD!

this summer holiday im gonna buy ALL the popular tvb series and WATCH THEM ALL!! muahahaha!!

Sunny days are gone :(

2009-04-27T12:22:00.007+08:00

It's cold now.....brrrrrrrrrrr. Apparently it's 13 deg now.

What do I wanna say? Hmm.... spent my whole weekend doing a hardcore assginment. Sadness.
But also went for IESS's Poker Night but unfortunately, I didn't win coz my cards suck so bad. booo..

I got my wallet stolen 2 Sundays ago, the one day before I go back to uni after the 10-day long Easter break. So that also contributes to my irritated tone in my last post. Some stupid asshole who I hope gets eternal bad luck and misfortune for life or get hit by a car, stole my wallet from my bag, when I was trying shoes in a shoe shop (I think). Ok, it's also my fault that I left my bag there for abt 10 secs unattended. But still.. eeeeee! And the shop has no CCTV. And then all my valuable things in my wallet are just Poof! gone. Off to the police station I go, off to get all my cards replaced the next day, and bank cards took a long time to arrive because the cards arrive and then only the pin numbers arrive like 5 days later. haih.. all the trouble.

So, anyway, Easter was pretty much fun. Did lots of non-study related stuffs, studied little. In summary, I've went to two housewarming parties, sang at KBOX (the place is literally called that, and it's less than 5 seconds away if you run to it from my apartment's main entrance if there's no cars on the road), went to the museum, met up with Teo and Melvin for dinner, ate at this eat all you can eat Japanese buffet restaurant (which was just ok, not that great), went clubbing, shopping shopping, and then there's one day for studying (which should actually take up majority of the time during the holidays, oh well). 10 days well spent, huh? I think so. But oh, the guilt!

Anyway, a week of uni stressfulness is back. And it will be ongoing for at least more than a month, maybe about 2 months. Haih, time to work hard and strive to the max!!

Here's a shocking piece of news. A particular flu called "swine flu" is hitting various parts of the world. Scary man.. Apparently some top influenza expert in Australia has said that he believed that swine flu is already in Australia. And since winter is hitting, and as always people get sick all the time, coughs and sniffs everywhere I go, it's even scarier cause nobody can differentiate between the two. Saw this on Yahoo's homepage -> www.news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090427/ap_on_bi_ge/med_swine_flu_reality_check. Freaky part is it MIGHT spread globally and kill millions! Let's just hope their speculation is wrong. Being a little paranoid here..haha.

As Lyn was so into Google Maps, I told her I'll post the following here.

Back last year, when I was also a little crazy over Google Maps, I print-screened and copied images from it. LOL. So jobless right, I know.

BRUNEI

Spot my roof!

Spot Jalan Gadong

Spot Kg. Jangsak

Spot......erm.. I dunno, Sengkurong, Ban, Jangsak, Kilanas area?

MELBOURNE

The building with the address is where I live. Reddish-orange building is KBOX!

p/s: I just realised it's not Google Maps that I was into, it was Google Earth!!

Bye. Will return to blogging only after a long time.

today's 1st prize no is..

2009-04-26T20:08:00.009+08:00

0426 eyhs!! the date todayyy!!

should have bought $1 so I'l go muahahahahah... lol. im nt a 4d freak lar, just.... hm, which orang cina dun know about it rights... and i just happen to know the 1st prize no today is 0426 so hais` abit.. grrrr. LOL! cuz there are also a few reasons WHY I should have think of buying the date todayyyyy.... anyways~

Today is one of my closestt friend; Jewel Tan Jee Wei's bday eyhs and i know she had a blast this bday because I could see, she enjoyed very much in her party last night. hehe =)

so once again, HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, JEWEL! ;)

some more pictures from lastnight...

Jeewei's Cake! from bakerlyn..

had a great time last night/ overall was a great party so Thankyou Ms.Jewel!

so, i still feel a lil grrr about the 4d thing. haha, and i'm supposed to go meet up with Carmen and Aneurin at the Arch now but because most of my tees' are unironed, i decided to stay home and blog this post. hehe` and uh, i haven post up pics from my birthday party eyhs, but most of u might have seen it from facebook already but uhwells, i'l post it up one of these days eyhs Just for the sake of posting. haha, dont mind me.

so, it's the revision week already. 7 days to countdown til the Exams, and I am stil VERY unprepared for it. I hope i'l do well in this semester exam because I cannot afford to fail any subject this semester or else..................... darenot say.

so, hope all ends well for me! Wish me lots of lucks.. heh ;)

a lil update..

2009-04-22T20:47:00.004+08:00

so, my life has been okayly okay with assignments and some outings, until last monday morning my right leg's muscle part got swollen all of a sudden. I freaked out, and lol.. cried, and when asked why i cried.. i remembered that i cried because in my mind i was thinking, 'shit, if my leg is forever that big..i cant be wearing shorts and skirts ledy....'
HAHA, wth rights?!

so i had to leave my partners to do the video assignment and asked my mum to bring me to see doctor right away. when we reached the clinic, the doctor checked and said there was an obvious difference of size of my legs, and asked if i have walked a long distance or stand for too long BUT i was sitting in the lecture for two hours!! she gave me some medicine to eat for a night and said if my leg did not go back to normal size then i have to go to the hospital. i couldnt sleep that night.......... maybe because that night i also watched 'Jangan Tegur' .. lol, so horror movie + oversized right leg = insomnia~

when i woke up the next morning, i was a little happy because it was not as swollen as the previous night BUT still difference can be seen... and when i go to uni that day, some friends told me it might be uric acid and stuffs~ sighs` i was worried sh*t...

my mum said she'd bring me to the hospital this morning, but because i had to go to Uni to finish up the assignment, so we did not go then...

hmm, both my legs seemed to be in their normal size now, though i still think my right leg does seem a bit bigger than my left one... so, i m in a dilemma now..do i still need to go see the doctor eyhs? but im really worried... about what they said; uric acid and blabla.... =(

if only i have been eating healthily, i wouldnt be so worried now.... sighs!! 人生~

Insomnia

2009-04-22T04:49:00.004+08:00

OMFG!

Why can't I sleep? I didn't even have enough sleep. I exercised like mad and was so bloody tired before I slept, but why do I get up <2 hrs later and could not get back to sleep again? Fark laaa.. I'm supposed to get up at 9.30 am, with very little sleep of less than 6 hrs ( my ideal is 8 hrs). Then now what?? NO need to sleep is it? I have a whole day ahead of me with much needed energy to keep me awake for a damn long time. Sheesh. Sorry I'm just so angry that I can't go back to sleep.

Is it because of that stupid sms? Is it because of the emo Chinese love songs playlist that I've just created just now and it's playing continuously? Which freaking leads to me thinking and thinking and thinking. Kept thinking like a mad freako. My eyes are wide awake, I don't understand why. Then all I do is reflect. Reflect on how bad this year has been for me. Kept replaying and recollecting all the bad things in my mind that have already happened. Then I also realised I had lots of fun this year. A bit too much.. until I don't think I have prioritised my studies well. DAMN IT!

GAhhh.. emo songs are making my heart so restless.

I don't know why I only blog when I'm sad these days. So wtf.

Bad things keep happening until I am so immune to their effects already. Bad karma, yo?

I want a brighter tomorrow. Oh please.

one word to describe all..

2009-04-17T17:53:00.010+08:00

HAPPY!!!

why?! Because i jus received a parcel gift from my Aunt Vivian and beloved cousins, and also her friend, Julita... from kuching.

hehe, i came back home from gym, and suddenly someone on the door shouted 'anyone home?'

so i rushed to the door, and i saw a guy and a box, and he asked for Miss Shenny Tang, and asked me to sign.. haha, this kind of thing i only see from Tv ler, and so this is a very new/cool thing for me. Hahaha, i know i sound so sakai now.. but haha, parcels for me few years back were all 'signed' by my mum when i was not home.. so haha` just don mind me.... so yeahs, i was asked to sign and write the date, and so he passed me the box.

Wooooooo~ the box has my name and all On it...

几sart一下！哈哈哈。不要理我..

ok, so i screamed for my small sis to come downstairs, and i just kept on screaming there. i was stunned and shocked, and Happy ofcourse. so I asked her to be the camera Person when I open my parcel~ step-by-step.... hehe

opening~

still opening~

and then I saw a.... PurPle Box...

inside full of stuffies... i kept on digging~ haha

a shirt, necklaces, a bag, two cards, a belt and accesories, and some of the stuffs are featuring Stars~ they JUST know me so well!! haha.

happy happy~

closing finale, with a picture of myself with the stuffs

i really thank alot to my aunt vivian and julita eyhs because they got the hearts to send me this parcel, so thank themm veryyy much.

and so, i am now with felicia, had dinner with her jus now@chill with jewel, and bunny came along..i talked to fel a lot tonight, about accounting and some other stuffs..nice catching up with her eyhs, as it has been quite some time we met and talked. missed her! hehe. FEL, we should come out more often now k, until u leave to spore. hehe..

so, currently@snowhouse with felicia, jewel and bunny.

Jewel and Bunny emo-ing now.. lol~

guess that's it for this post. hehe till the next blog ppl ;)

Shenny turned 21

2009-04-14T14:02:00.003+08:00

To the first girl among all of us to turn 21, my bestest friend in the world...Shenny!!

HAPPY BELATED 21st BIRTHDAY!!!

I'm so so sorry that this is a belated post. Should've posted this up yesterday but I wasn't home for the whole day.

Hope you had a wonderful birthday filled with joy and laughters and warm wishes from people around you. OH and you've got the "imaginary" key to open the door to the world! hahaha. funny. dunno if that's true or not.. i think it's quite bullshit, coz our parents will always still wanna control and run our life till...dunno maybe after we get married?

Tell me why

2009-04-08T21:41:00.002+08:00

EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeyer

Why? Why why why?
Everytime I see it, I get annoyed, seriously. Wtf la.

*breathe* must calm down.

Stupid things are gonna go away soon. I hope.

Ok, on another note, I wanna go to Sydney for Jay Chow's concert on 3rd July. Should I? I should! wanna go wanna go wanna go wanna go. I shall consider. Actually it's not up to me to decide.. I need to have the green light from my mummy & daddy la. hehehe. Impossible go off to Sydney like dat without them knowing right? And then have to spend "their" $$$$ :(

Can't wait for tomorrow. After my 3-hr lab, it's the official Easter break. Happiness! 10 days of no classes+ no waking up to the annoying sound of the alarm clock + no deadlines. Oh, more fun, please come.

I'm gonna sing my heart out again.
I'm gonna walk the streets mindlessly again.
I'm gonna have a regular gym routine again.
I'm gonna go out of the city again.
I'm gonna hang out & catch up with people again.
I'm gonna have experimental cooking + baking sessions again.
I'm gonna shop a little again (have not gone shopping since uni started, how sad).

I'm definitely not going to uni that often anymore, if possible not at all. So sick of that place, it was like my 2nd home for a few weeks. Sheesh.

Assignment season

2009-04-07T11:34:00.006+08:00

Assignments are in the air. Every other day, there's one due.. no matter what faculty you are in. Crazy. Plus we got labs. Can't wait for Easter break this Friday. Only a few days away..hehehe. But gotta start catching up like a freak during the break though, have been lagging behind again.

Oh procrastination, u are sooo EVIL. Supposedly study weekend became leisure weekend. Friday night, IESS set up a stall for uni's Night Market. Helped out, selling the same usual things, beef rendang, lemongrass chicken drummets and cucur pisang. Saturday night, karaoke and Sunday afternoon, poker at friend's place. No need to study one huh??? tsk tsk, no discipline. Moreover, there was an assignment to hand in on Monday the next day.

View of the Night Market scene from the top (taken by a friend)

Not night yet though..hehe

Me, very unglam-ly taking out the last piece of cucur pisang.

So.. anyway, I feel very indecisive about certain things. I don't know what I want, I wish I can see the future. If only..... dream on. Things are so in the middle of nowhere. Don't even know what's the next step to take.

Peace!

2009-03-30T18:35:00.002+08:00

Woah,

I feel so at peace that it feels hard to believe. So peaceful. No more dramas.

Haih, I cannot emphasize how un-peaceful I feel for the last week or so. So chaotic, so dramatic. So unsettled. So drama mama.

Suddenly home feels so unfamiliar. Been going to uni for the whole of last week to work on assignments and other things. Home feels like a hotel, where I just come home and sleep and wake up and off to uni again. Being at home again, feels so..weird. hehe.

Other than physical(back tired, eyes tired) and mental(brain power) disturbances from the schoolwork, there was emotional disturbance as well(not gonna discuss this). sigh. Argh, I just can't believe I am so peaceful now and free from all disturbances. OH life..

End

2009-03-29T23:38:00.003+08:00

Thus concludes one of the most hectic weeks experienced so far in the year, apart from when parents were here and during orientation week. hmm..busy busy.

So much had to be done.. in so little time. 1 skills task test, 2 huge & lengthy assignments, 1 lab report, paintball (today! didn't get shot :P), 1 prelab yet to be done, all crammed in one week. Very the tired, can die. Furthermore there were "extra" things that I had to go thru in the midst of all that workload.

Hence, I look forward to a less hectic week, perhaps less work to do and more fun & games. Amen.

aunt agony

2009-03-20T01:50:00.002+08:00

hello people! long time no blog! i am here today to play/seek aunt agony and discuss relationships issues.

recently i have been quite unhappy because my good friends have found boyfriends and are neglecting me. not that i blame then, they need their honeymoon period, but HELLO! bros before hos! jk. i foresee by the end of the semester they'd be running to be crying about their relationship problems already but CHOIII, let's not wish this upon them.

next, another friend and i discussed our issues about being single. why is it that there are so many guys in this world that we know, but none of them catches our eyes, and those that do always end up attached, or something like that. and also, why is it we can't get over our past?

the reason to both issues is interlinked. you still can't get over your past because you haven't found someone new to obsess over. and you can't find someone new to obsess over because you still can't get over your past. break this vicious cycle! go for a makeover! change your perspectives! meet new people! don't be afraid of taking chances even if it ends up as a failure!

moving on, we have those who used to have 好感 with each other, but as they proceed to know each other better, one of them decides that the other is not actually that attractive. why does this happen??? it's quite sad, especially when you are the person not liked, and suddenly the other person just stopped talking to you and you have no idea what's going on and what happened =( it's quite bad too if you're the person who doesn't like the other, then you'd be feeling guilty if you have a conscience, or you'd be wondering why is it no one can attract you, maybe your standard too high?

PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS. give me solutions! or i'll just end up marrying joshua if he still wants me.

Just keep guessing..

2009-03-17T22:53:00.003+08:00

See, Shenny Tang Mee Hong! I obey your tagboard request to blog :P

Haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I will say things that would definitely not make sense to you at all.

My emotions are like on a super rollercoaster ride. Up down, up down, within a few hours, in a day.. in a week, months.

I don't know why I have to feel like that. I can just shut it out.. forget about it, just shut it out of my life. But I keep thinking thinking thinking.. and it dragged
on for ages. Nothing to do with wanting to break up, if that's wat's popping on ur mind. It's just something else...

Something out of the norm. Something different. Something I thought I would never ever ever thought I'll go through because it is just SO out of the norm. Sheesh, dunno why I let it go on for so long in the first place.

Haihh.. I wish I could reveal but I can't! Never ever will! But I bet you can see I really want to :P

It's like this thing has been going on in my mind, continuously and slowly creeping into me, more and more. Quite annoying, really. Cannot concentrate fully on more important things. It just comes out every now and then, sometimes to make me happy, sometimes to make me sad and frustrated. Furthermore, it makes my heart heavy. Hate the heavy heart feeling. It sucks bad.

It's so pointless to even think about it. It's just going nowhere. But I still let it run. Why? I really don't know. I'm so weird. Maybe I'm just a coward or maybe I just feel like it's nothing wrong, just take the matter lightly. Argh.. this is gonna be something in life I'll never forget.

I know I sound very ambiguous. Super damn ambiguous, like u don't even know what the heck I'm talking about.. heheh. Don't guess, nothing will be told :)

omg

2009-03-15T22:56:00.002+08:00

i just realised one more month plus left to examination for this semester, yet i still have many things left undone, and unrevised... especially my cost accounting subject. especially dislike the lecturer so i disliked the subject as well. NOT good news.. tomorrow is the mid-semester test for the subject.. im so very sure i'l flunk it tmw.... sighs!!

has not been in the right mood lately, especially what i've been through this weekend.. something felt so wrong..... but i just cant describe exactly what has really gotten into me, or what is bothering me; stress from studies, friends, family... 我真的不知道. really hope i can sort this out soon so i can concentrate on what i am supposed to be concentrating on; my studies.

sighs` just hope all those wrong feelings im feeling now ends well soon.. hoping for a brand new week coming tmw...
yes, im ready to start anew...

Early morning rise

2009-03-12T04:34:00.007+08:00

Hellew everybody,

This blog is dead, very dead. Bloggers lazy to death. Hhahaha, choi! Jk ok.

I think I slept for about 9-10 hours. Now I'm awake. How weird, I got up at about 7 am. I have never gotten up so early for a darn long time already now. Maybe I should do this everyday. Sounds more healthy, sleep early wake up early. Then my day would feel so long. Nice!

Uni's been like that, same ol usual thing, except with new subjects. One thing that's different is everything is getting tougher and more and more effort have to be put in. Like what I've told Shen, going back to uni is like entering the war zone again. Have to battle once again. Really sien. Battle with books, lectures, mid-sem tests, tutorials, exams, assginments. Argghh~

Here's a fun fact. Ok, maybe not fun. There was an earth tremor (smaller scale of earthquake) last Friday in Melbourne. How weird.. I was at a steamboat dinner and I didn't feel anything at all! The tremor had a magnitude of about 4.6 aye. Apparently, people who live in outer suburbs or higher apartment buildings could feel a bit of a shake. So freaky. Some extreme cases: paintings rattling on the walls, bed shaking, cabinets moved, etc.

Ok, I better not waste time. Gonna study a bit, till my class at 12 pm. So late! haha, only 8 am now.

Before I go, here's a pic of the fireworks I saw last weekend.

oh no!

2009-03-07T00:19:00.006+08:00

mid semester BREAK is coming to the end liaos... two more days to 好好 enjoy the break then crazyyy Uni-stress days are comingg liaos.... boohoo!

so this break, did nothing much.. has been watching ghost whisperer and jus finished season3; waiting to get season4 this sundayy from a friend. Cant wait..
also, alot of uni works/assignments to do during this break..so basically, did not enjoy very much... infact,hahaha.. i stil have a few more assignments to go..and boohoo`so lil time left for me, so much to do.

gah! i can already see myself rushing up last minute work again.. bad i know, bad!!

so i suddenly have this mood to blog...

because i'm bored of opening the blog to see that my 'Oh Yes!' post is still up there.... hahaha.. ALSO, i have a picture to share here with everyone... ;)

the lovely people i was out dinner with yesterday on the 5th March 2009.

hmm, this post is almost coming to an end now.....

oh, went hiking today again for this week... and it was not so bad. there was a freeshow from 2 angmohs at the waterfall area... no no, dont get me wrong.. what i meant freeshow here was, they were literally performing ''stunt'' and there were quite a lot of 'audiences' there watching and screaming and clapping? hmmm.....

that was quite the distance between the ''audience'' and the ''performers''. haha..see on the right side of the picture; one of the angmohs..
hm, actually I dint know we can play and swim there...

he climbed up using the rope and stand at some height and just jumped off; quite a lot of times they went up and jumped down; happy with the cheers they got from the audiences kaliahs. HAHA!

till the next post ppl ;)

oh yes!

2009-02-26T17:28:00.002+08:00

my brother is not leaving yet.... he decided to join the second batch, somewhere April.. so yeahs!

now i'l have time to argue with him until april... haha!

gahhh, mid semester break is next week, and it's not going to be Holiday for me.. because seriously, seriously a lot to do during the break..... most of the assignmentssss are going to be due after the break........ so much to do, so lil time.

hmm, i was jus thinking yesterday, that i should just stay home and do all my works for a week........ but hm, before i even think of this... i can alreadyy see the doubtss in myself and all my friends...... im sooo very sure that everyone of them will NOT believe i can, stay home and not go out for a week.......

but like what jenny says, if i really can.. then it benefits me alot actually, so hmm... i'v thought it over just now.. i will try to go out less at night and uhm, i'l make a to-do-list during the break tonight or tomorrow.

yes, yes i will do it.. hah! :)

a sudden urge to blog..

2009-02-25T18:30:00.005+08:00

because im unhappy+sad+moody... gah` i dontknow.

my brother is leaving this weekend. so sudden. we just got calls from my uncle this morning that he has to be in the uni ledy by next week and my uncle wanted him to reach kuching by this sat/sun so that he can show my brother the way to the campus.

btw, my brother is going to study in kuching at the limkokwing uni... interior design.. hmm.. and he said he'd apply to the one in kl when he settle down, cuz everything happened so sudden. the last time i heard, they were only discussing about where and which uni to go and then was asking my uncle from kuching to help.. and now he has to leave already. so soon!! though it's near,kuching... but still.... so SOON!

yesss!! I feel sad la... that he's leaving so soon... no time for me to get ready to be sad and all.. and he's always busy lagi nowadays; totally felt like i havent been talking to him or anything..and now he has to leave already. sighs`

to think that he'd not be staying with us, i really feel sad la/

uhwells,time to go airport to send off a friennd..........two friends actually..

.............be right back.............

backsss.....
i told a friend how i felt and haha, she told me it's normal to feel this wayy..cuz it's the first time and sooner when he comes and go back there more often, i wouldnt feel anything already..hopefully..

ahwells, i'l see....

wut i know now is, i will definetely feel different without his presence here.......like, hmm... i'l miss calling 'ahko' at home....

lalala....

so uni life for me here has been hectic........ i dontknow. i have to work extra hard now to get good marks for all..i dont want to do badly in my subjects....BUT i just cant seem to concentrate, YET!!!

how i wish and wish, that the time will pause for a while for me to catch up with some stuffs...... :)

Blogging again

2009-02-25T13:23:00.002+08:00

I think I'm blogging abit too much these days. And delaying my pics post.
But like, I dunno. I always need to rant nowadays. rant rant rant.
It's like as if I'm turning this blog into an online diary or something.

Anyway.. as of now, my right wrist+arm is hurting. Eeesh, so pain. Went to play badminton yesterday. How weird. It's like months/years since I last played, and I play like crap/freaking beginner level. And so my wrist+arm is having a painful muscle cramp now. And it shakes when I try to write with a pen. haihh..And woke up with body ache.

Today we had this faculty lunch thing. And then while the juniors/freshers were having their free lunch after their course info session, we had a booth there, promoting the club. Actually, we didn't have much hope of signing many people, but soon more came. And at the end of the day, we had about 27 people. Very amazing, considering we had only two who registered last year, middle of the year's orientation. Power of persuasion man! Must persuade, tell people the benefits, get them interested and all. haha, had a look at all the filled up forms, cause it's my duty to keep them and update the members' info onto the database. I FEEL SO OLD! OLd old old. haha, that's only cause right, these new first years were all born in 1989,1990, 1991. Most of them are 1990. haihhh.. feel so senior+old. Like they look normal, not too young, but they're YOUNG. ok, point is I feel old lar.. I still can remember the day when I was the one who was entering first year and now it's history.

After that whole thing, I met up with Teo for a while before he headed to class. Had a light lunch and great chat with him and then we went to collect my marked 2nd essay. The stupid f*cker tutor gave me such a low mark (ahem, excuse my vulgarity, very angryyy). EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee. It's like I simply do my first essay, get 68/100. And some smart girl did hers and she got 70+ only. why mark so harshly? stupid tutor. Then.. this time, I did better, like did more research, read his comments and try to improve and all.. and I still get only 72. sigh. stupid. I was counting on this 2nd essay to get more marks on my overall final mark, coz my final exam..was just ok, I'm quite scared I might not do well. Aiyerr I just wanna pass. Do I sound like my expectation is very high? I dunno coz this is one of the subjects that I might/can try to do well but I didn't/can't. My engineering subjects are definitely hard as hell to score at all. Must study like crazy and I procrastinate. So I get low low low marks, around pass or 60+ only. I am sad.

So now I am relaxing at home. I'm so lazy to move my ass and clean up my table's mess. Ok ciao! I want to nap.

TV

2009-02-24T10:00:00.005+08:00

Hey guys..

Haven't been having the mood to reply to anything at all. e-mails, facebook, comments, tagboard. hehehe.. I must have mood to do that one.. :P so don't mind my unresponsiveness.

Anyway,
My mood is a little lifted when I see so many people in uni. I mean, during summer, it's as quiet as hell. Only random ppl, maybe 10-20% of the uni's population are there. Maybe even less. And I always felt so lonely.. and like the uni is dead zone or something.
These few days, there's orientation and all. So, you see lots of new ppl going around uni.. enrolling and looking for their buildings to go to. And medical (ahem, teo) and dentistry ppl have started their classes. Trinity college ppl are seen around uni.. so yea.. the uni is alive and bustling again. How I miss the atmosphere. Shit man.. does that mean I cannot live in solitude or wat. I feel happy that people are coming back and I get to see them again. coz all these while, they're back home holiday-ing. I think I like to be part of a crowded atmosphere or something. EEEks i'm so weird. The same feeling happens when I'm on the streets. when it's quiet, I feel so weird and like lonely. When it's crowded, I feel part of something big. Maybe I just like to watch ppl. ok, too much crap here.

Back to my topic, TV.
Last Saturday, I decided to watch TV. Mind you, I don't usually watch TV. I have forsaken TV long ago. I used to watch moderately in my first two years here but later on.. other priorities have taken over my life. Yes, the dreaded assignments, readings, mid-semester tests, preparations for classes I have to do. So sad. What a life I have! then.. only occasionally I switch on the tv. maybe twice a week? sometimes, never ever in a week. Anyway.. the channels I have are kinda boring anyway. It's like national television networks la..boring! no Chinese channels (duh.. unless it's Astro), no mtv, no movie channels, no discovery channels, no E! channel. So sien.

But there is something that resembles Astro here.. it's called Foxtel. The apartment that Vc is staying at has it. But I never go and on it also anyway. Coz I just lost interest in TV altogether already ..after all these while. And by watching TV, I don't mean movies that u downloaded and watch.. I mean, flipping thru channels and catching the shows, and like if u miss it, u miss it. And you don't have to think of wat to watch, like u do when u watch shows on the computer. TV, u just mindlessly watch what's on the TV.

So, that faithful day, I turned on the tv. And omgg.. sat there, being a couch potato for hours. I think almost 5 hrs. Kinda re-discovered the joy of watching tv man. U know I used to be a tv addict, would flip thru the Astro guide book, circle which shows I wanna watch throughout the day, and watch accordingly, like a timetable. Anyway, managed to catch some shows, like 2 episodes of Sex and the City, The Simple Life & The Hills after that (dunno why I was watching these two, just got curious abt what these shows were about, interesting, but I kept rolling my eyes), Anatomy of a Snake bite (lol, this was on discovery channel), Gilmore girls & Gossip Girl (oh man, spoiler. I only knew what happened in season 1. then suddenly the girl was with another guy in season 2.. eeesh).

Watched the Academy Awards yesterday night, one/two nights later than the actual thing. Makes me wanna watch all the movies that were nominated. Like, The Reader, The curious case of benjamin button, Milk and of course, the SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. Happy that Heath Ledger won the best supporting actor, hurray for him. Owh, and Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman and Anne Hathaway are so pretty and glam. Btw, Hugh Jackman's humor amazes me coz he's always so dead serious as Wolverine. Oh and Beyonce's voice is super power!

I think I just wasted ur time, talking about nonsensical bullcrap. wahhaha. sry guys.

p/s: super long post may be delayed due to unforeseen laziness