First week of uni 2011

Sigh, another urge to blog.

Right now, I'm listening to JJ's album, the latest one, where he sings all the songs he's written for many female singers. I think I'm weird, before this, I was thinking, why doesn't it bother me if I dun listen to any songs. I dun feel that it's silent or that I need to constantly listen to something. This is a seriously HUGE contrast to the old me. I used to be a music fanatic, whatever's new I have to know, as soon as I step into the house, I have to play my songs. Used to bring my Ipod and listen to it everywhere, esp when mp3 players started rolling out around the age of fifteen. But now, I dunno what's wrong! Does it mean I like being silent these days? It doesn't bother me that during my 8-hr flights to and fro Melbourne multiple times, that I never even switch my Ipod on at all, not even for a while. In the past, every tram ride, everywhere I walked on the streets, I need to have my music with me at all times.. now I dun even bother, I just leave it at home. Songs that I've downloaded since last November, I have not even listened to them. The only time I'm obligated to listen to songs is when I'm driving.. and I don't even bother selecting songs I like and putting them in the car to listen, I just merely turn to the radio and just go with whatever's playing. Lost touch with music man -_-" And when I listen to the Chinese songs, I go all emo, coz the music is so damn sad! Oh, I suddenly remembered another occasion where I actually need my songs with me, and that's during the exam period. Reading the never-ending pages of lecture notes without the Ipod is torture, so quiet, and lecture materials keep driving me to sleep.


Anyways, Visa renewal is annoying, so many procedures to go through. Have to go for medical check up 2 weeks later. Currently anticipating the burden that's piling on me from uni. Went shopping a little, bought two skinny long pants and a hair curler finally. Need to experiment more with the curler, coz I suck at using it. BUT I can't use it too often. Even with heat protector sprayed before using it, I'm pretty sure the heat is gonna kill my hair if I use it every other day.

Went to try out the Blackberry Torch today. Still wondering if I should get the Torch 9800 or the Bold 2 9780. Hmmmmm.. Torch is so like my old LG phone, half touch screen, half keyboard. However, Torch's screen reminds me of the Iphone's screen, huge, and easy to browse webpages and pictures with. Funny thing is, I can use either the touch screen or the usual scrolling touchpad thing to click on this or that. And can type with either the physical slide out keyboard or the on-screen keyboard like the Iphone's. How peculiar I find, having the option to use it like an oldschool Blackberry scrolling up and down, left and right or just touch touch touch like the Iphone. When I see the Bold 2, I find it so small! And it seems to pale in comparison to the Torch.. sigh.. but it's small and compact, the screen is pretty small too, smaller than my bold 9000. Dilemma~



I am so missing being in Brunei still! Don't really know if I miss driving. I keep complaining of having to drive so much in Brunei, but walking here is not too bad either. Prob coz the distance is not too far as I'm right in the city.

Seeing the uni sickens me. I really cannot wait to get out of it. Need a new life.. new purpose in life, work not study. Need money! Need independence, dun wanna use parents' money with guilt everytime I buy something that is not necessary.

Got my friend Jason to dismantle my whole laptop and clear all the dust build-up in my laptop's fan. Previously, my computer heats up like crazy, I swear it can cook an egg or be an iron, it burns if u leave ur fingers on it for more than a few seconds. Gets worst if it has been left on the bed. And the wind that comes out of the vent was always warm! Now, after all dust is cleared, the vent actually blows out cool air.. amazing! And my laptop is not HOT anymore :D

Blogging in autumn time

My gosh, how long have I not blogged man? Since October! I skipped abt 3-4 months of blogging.. hehe, all thanks to Facebook, for taking blogging out of a lot of peoples' lives. I even stopped reading blogs altogether.

Sigh.. Right now I can't sleep. That's why I'm blogging. Slept on the plane for about six hours during midnight(the right time to sleep). But it was so uncomfortable sleeping in a sitting position, plus when I arrived, two other planes arrived at the same time.. so the immigration queue was the longest I've ever been in any immigration queues in my life.. took more than 1.5 hours just to get out of the airport. sheesh.. when I reached home, I was tired as hell already. So I slept for abt 4-5 hours in the noon, then for about 4 hours during the night. So now I can't sleep! grrrrr..Am supposed to wake up at a normal time tomorrow, for class and to settle A LOT OF THINGS like unpacking, renewing student visa, renewing student card, lectures, project briefings, upgrading to a new phone, grocery shopping, etc etc..

Well, I was actually intending to blog about what has happened over the past few months. SO much has happened, I dun even know how to and where to start.

hmmmm...




maybe another time..


Now, for some resolutions:

1) Must study hard! Most importantly, Start Early.. no slacking.. Try to be as interested as possible in subjects, so that it quickens studying(hate how when I try to start my engine for studying, I totally hate the subject contents, keep resisting reading even a page.. but once it starts, I get a little interested, and then only can I keep going, faster and faster)

2) Allocate time for these: series(maybe 1 or 2 episodes a day), exercise, reading storybooks(just impulse bought 4 books from KLIA's MPH). I realise I never allocated time for movies/series. I just dun bother usually. I only watch shows certain times in a year, not regularly. Even listening to songs, I get so lazy, I dun bother listening to them, as in I don't bother turning on my playlist at all.

3) Cook more!

4) Have a better sleep and wake up time. Try to be as regular as possible. I hate it when some days I sleep longer into the noon and can't sleep earlier during the night. sigh..


Ok, that's about it.

I'm so missing my Brunei routine. No studying, no cooking, no set time to wake up and sleep, do watever u want.. I missssssssss. And I'm missing everyone in Brunei! I dunno why I just instantly feel sad and bogged down by things I have to do here when I reach Melbourne. Guess that's reality for you.. study/work times can never compare to holiday times.

pre-exam Stress.

It has always, always been like this. A week or two before the exam confirm cant help to procrastinate, again and again and heh, I can already imagine myself saying 'I wished I have more time' a day before the exam.

SIGHS! buckle up already, Shenny Tang! This semester is crazy; with 6maths and 1 accounting course, I doubt... but I'm going to prove myself wrong, again. I'm definetely going to score.

My objective is to get 2As', 3Bs', 1C and 1D but Dear God, if you think my request is a bit too much then a pass will do. seriously. amitabha.

hmm, I don't think anyone is reading this bloggie, except for the Bloggers eyhs? so it's like I blog for myself to read, haha.. but Jasmine Yap, if you see this, JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU yess!! We can do it aite! hehe, I see you soon!! xoxo

Blogging in springtime

Hello to the few readers out there,

Really dunno why I just don't feel like blogging anymore these days. I'm so lazy. I'm so lazy to even upload photos on Facebook.

Updates:

Have been working for about 2 months now, waitressing. I'm definitely feeling more comfortable now, no more anxiety issues I used to deal with, before I went in the first few times. Have already broken a total of 1 water glass and 3 wine glasses and not proud of it and my boss is just too nice to not charge me for it. Have been well fed by the chef, some days I work during lunch hours(usually do dinner times), I get my lunch. But before I leave to go home, the chef made me take back a tapao of that night's dinner as well, how nice!

Tim Burton's Exhibition displays the works of the director behind most of Johnny Depp's movies like Charlie and the chocolate factory, Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, Edward Scissorhands, Tim Burton. Went there with Amanda one Sunday. His works are really quirky and weird to the max. Looking at them actually give me the creeps at how someone can think/draw with so much eccentricity. Weird shit.

Boring uni stuff happens.. as usual. But I shouldn't be complaining, only doing three subjects this semester, so I'm relatively more free compared to the normal workload of 4 subjects.

Finally gotten around to using a Blackberry. Just thought the BBMessenger and Whatsapp are quite convenient as u can chat with people unlimitedly. And the ability to receive instant email notifications in my phone are both good and bad. Good, cause if there's any important announcement in my uni email gets sent in, I would know about it instantly or if someone tags some bleargh picture of me in Facebook, I'd know. Bad, because sometimes it's so annoying! A simple comment on my Fb page would send a beep/blink on my phone. And if 10 other comments continue on that same initial comment, my phone won't stop bugging me. Case in point: my birthday. Super lots of beeping on my phone coz of the FB greetings, I wanna hide it under a pillow. But then again, I'd know instantly who greeted me. Oh well, could have switched the blinking/sound off, but didn't.

Went to my first uni ball ever. Loved the venue. I wore a dress that resembled a wedding gown according to a lot of people including myself.. But I still like it. hahah, like what the salesgirl said, makes me feel like a princess. And I've always wanted to wear a long dress, finally gotten around to wearing one. Yay!

OOh, and I won a $10 Sushi shop voucher for lucky draw. haha, already used it yesterday. And also, the organisers of the ball got us free entrance to Seven, the afterparty club venue, we just had to show our ball tickets.

The birthday - Really didn't feel like celebrating this year. So, just had lunch with Amanda and dinner with friends.

Went to Tasmania for 4 days, 3 nights. Apparently Tasmania is supposed to be boring, lots of sight-seeing and that's about it. But lucky, we did more adventurous stuff and that took the boring factor out for us. The day we arrived, we all went to a honey farm, but it's more like just a honey shop.






Then after dat, we went to explore caves, with a tour guide of course. The stalactites and rock formations were quite pretty and it kept reminding me of what Geography taught many years ago.




Day 2, we went to Cradle Mountain for hiking. Love the scenery.. so beautiful.

* Actually getting lazier to upload photos here alrdy, so stay tuned in FB for more pics.

Day 3, white water rafting & ghost tour. Ghost tour freaked me out so badly, apparently we went into a prison area, it's a really big piece of land with lots of old buildings that look like castles, this whole place used to a convict prison for about 170 years ago. And one of the houses there was supposedly the 2nd most haunted house in Australia and the guide made us go into it and stayed in one of the rooms while he explained all the sounds and sightings people have experienced in there. Goodness..so scary. Like he said a grumpy old man ghost is always seen near the window there and then pointed his torch at that direction wth. Then the guide always brought us to a particular area where people used to see ghosts, hear footsteps, feel cold, all those things u get when a ghost is near u.

So anyways, Day 4 explored Hobart city(capital of Tasmania), went to the Salamanca Market where they sell handicrafts, old books, food, jewelleries, etc then off to the airport and back to Melbourne.

So back to Melbourne, back to study. Timetable just came out, exam ends on 19th Nov, earlier than I expected. So, dat's great, can relax earlier, but that also means I have to start studying, like now! Which is what I'm trying to do daily. Sigh, really need to get good grades.

BREAKTHROUGH!

Yes, I seriously need a breakthrough, in every aspect of my life. kinda feel so sick about everything around me now... my life; my studies, this and that and all... everything is just so.. plain and stale and sad, and Boring!

and I cant seem to get over with something that is already over. SHENNY! Get Over With It!

I need a path, a new route.. to a whole new me! GAH! I just feel so negative now... about everything! What is wrong with me..

Inspired.

so what have I been doing lately? so, some updates about me...

well, I'm in my 3rd year now in Uni, one more year to go and I'm graduating, hopefully. fingers crossed. So what's happening now? I cannot imagine that eight freaking months have passed and it's September 2010 already. This year has been a fun one; many happenings; both ups and downs until I did not have time to keep up to date to this blog. lol.

heh, so I managed to pass my semester 4 smoothly with no supplementary and during that 3 months holiday, I worked my *ss off with 2 jobs in June and got well paid. So as a reward to that, I sponsored myself to chill and relax at KK and Singapore with a bunch of awesome friends. I seriously had a great time there and after that trip, boy I just wished I was staying there.

Just to share with you guys, I enjoyed my June this year very much; handling 2 jobs and pretty much all my time was occupied that month. I had no time to spare for anything at all. However at the same time I learned quite a few things that was really worth it. I learned that money really don't come easily. You want more money, you will have to earn it, and it's not easy to earn it. There are bound to have sacrifices to it. I sacrificed my time :(

Yes, my time. I missed out a lot of valuable time with my family and friends. I still remember missing out a few dinner functions with my family and how left out I felt but I cant do anything. I got to be responsible with my work. Also, I missed out a few sports outing and also hangouts..... boo, but that's not so bad. What I really sacrificed was also my REST/SLEEP! I hardly have time to rest at all, and I thought I looked awful that time. Heh, can you imagine; working from 8am to 930pm everyday, well, except weekends but there was 2 weeks I had to work on Saturdays too. I finally understand why the working people insisted to treat their weekends well by enjoying themselves. From that month onwards, I always looked forward to weekend and treasured my weekend like a precious diamond. lol. Seriously.

So enough about my June.

Seriously what happened for the whole month of June has made me think a lot on what I really want for myself in the future. I came to realize that that is not what I want to do for a living in the next coming years. I don't want to be working my *** off for money. I met some new people recently and I thought what they said was right. I don't want to live my life controlled by my emotions, the two emotions; fear and desire. The fear of losing the job because if I lose my job, I wont get the money I want. On the other hand, the desire to get the things I want from money to make me go to work to get the money in order to get the things I want.

Sighs` so I'm still finding and trying ways to make sure I do not go into this cycle in the future and also to try go out from this cycle now, because I think that is exactly how I am feeling working my part time job now. There's actually nothing much I can do now because I am still quite dependent to my parents. So what I really can do now is to finish off my course in the Uni before I set my foot to another path, a path that I can actually be independent to my parents. [ahhh, Scary! lol ] Though I must admit I regret taking this path I'm walking now But since I've chosen this path, I will just continue on until the end before I see another junction. By that time, I will be sure to choose the right path :)

So as I was going to end this post just now, something happened... and I was suddenly inspired and wrote a short note. It was actually written in hope to wake someone up.. and yea, I thought I could share it here too.

''You never realized you have a nice family, you only care how nice or bad your friends treat you. You never realized how much your family has done for you, you only care what you can do for your friends. You never realized how worried your family can get when they can't reach you, you only care about how they do not trust You. You never realized no matter how big the argument you get with your family that in the end they will still treat you like the argument did not happened. What You have never realized doing to your family is that You always resent being told what to do. I really hope one day You will grow up and wake up to realize how blissful your life is, to have such wonderful people around you already. I also hope you will learn how to treasure those who loves you for just the way you are, and not those who try to change you to what you are becoming now.''

a quote to share :

have or not have or not have or not!?

你有没有 爱过我，有没有想过我， 有没有 有没有 也会有一点心动 的时候 但是说不出口 ♪

have la hor hor hor! Heeeeee

Our Equation!! I missed you.

this post is just going to be a soft opening eyh...

Yes, I'm coming back, to blog more after this post, yes I will.

I missed blogging, actually forgot how it feels to blog already;

the feeling of blogging and after blogging.

so I am going to blog soon! heee...

and oh Jasmine Yap! If you see this post, I missed you! talk to you soon okay! xx