A New Beginning for Me.

This is the first post of the year 2014 for me. I just have to do this.

I have to grow up. I need to stop talking and brooding about people's issue. I have to accept the fact that people come and go and not everyone in your life is going to stick around forever. I just have to learn how to let go. As the chinese sayings go by, '拿得起放得下' I've just talked to a friend and what she said is somewhat true, that Bruneians tends to be stuck all the time, stuck with the same old problem and whine like a broken record, over and over again and after some time the same problem is still there. We just don't fix it. I felt embarassed to be one of those 'bruneians' she mentioned even though technically, I'm a Malaysian, but I grew up in Brunei. haha!

I have to stop giving myself pressure about this kind of things. Why do I have to be so afraid of hurting people when those people I care about do not think the same about me. Why do I have to care so much about how people think of me when they don't even think of how I would think of them. My opinion should be as important as how I think of their opinion as well. All in all I should just stop caring so much for things that don't affect too much on me for once and for all. I can't expect people to change. I either have to accept who they are, or I start living my life without them and just because when something ends, it doesnt mean it never should have been. Maybe things are meant to happen that way, for a reason. There's another sayings that go 'You lived, you learned, you grew, and you moved on. Some people comes into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons hence SHENNY! Stop letting people who do so little to control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions. Nobody really cares.

I really hope this post will be my closure right now for all the friends and people issues I had for the past few years. This blog will serve as a reminder to myself to be who I really want to be. I'm tired to be someone to look out for how people think of me. All I really want to do now is to be the best version of myself, on my own terms. I want to set my priorities straight and take full responsibility of my own goals, know my self worth and choose the right perspective. I cannot keep brooding over the same old issue anymore. Just let it be a lesson learnt. Most of all, choose the things that truly matters only.

Saw this paragraph and thought that this would be a good reminder note to myself......

Dear Self,
When someone treats you like you're just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try nt to care, no matter how much you really do, because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to the person who means so much to you. It's not pride but self respect. Don't expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people. Don't give part time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than you deserve. 

Meaningless friendships, forced interactions and unnecessary conversations can be avoided all. Just learn to let go of things I can't control. Nobody is born perfect, and perspective is really everything. There are two choices to how I can view this as; a lesson learnt or get all emotional and breakdown that all these people and friends' issues had to happen to me. The past me would have chosen the latter.

Today I will take it as a life's way of asking me to grow up a little bit more, to raise my consciousness in life.

Cheers.