Desperado I : Money Mission

here is my resolution #1 for the new year:

MAKE LOTS OF MONEY! HAHAHAHA!

it’s 2007, and I’m in upper six now. next year it’ll be university already. well guess what, i’m not a very rich person and i don’t think I’ll be able to score any scholarship or tuition waiver or whatever. hence, this year, I must devise ways to maximize my income. Wait. I never had any income before. Okay, rephrase.

I MUST GENERATE INCOME
AND MINIMIZE EXPENSE.

I look around my room and it’s full of all sorts of rubbish that I’ll probably never need in my life. And then it occurred to me.

“One man’s trash is
another man’s treasure”

YES! Let’s make money selling off our unused things! I’ll exercise my sales skills. Tell me how well I do. If I’m good, buy from me!

ITEM(S) #1 : UNO CARDS.

ou didn’t read wrong, it’s the UNO cards! You know how when you buy a complete stack, it’s all good and then one day, you lose one or two cards…but it’s still okay because they have a template card ready for you for each color in case you lose one of the cards. Or two. Or three.

BUT, what happens when you lose the WILD and DRAW FOUR cards and the whole stupid stack of more than 100 pieces of cards becomes completely useless??

YOU COME TO ME!

That’s right, I’m selling UNO cards! If you lost one piece, fret not! There’s always Amilyn! I have all the cards you need and I’ll sell you any piece in the stack for

BND0.20 or RM0.50 per piece!

WHAT? you say it’s too expensive, you might as well go buy a brand new stack? Now that’s just stupid if you’ve lost less than 10 pieces! Okay then, I’ll throw in a deal

6 pieces = BND1.00 or RM2.00
10 pieces = BND1.50 or RM3.50
15 pieces = BND2.00 or RM4.50
20 pieces = BND3.00 or RM5.00
25 pieces = GO AND BUY AN NEW STACK LAH!

If you are good friend of mine, half all stated prices. HEHEHEH. What? Give you for free? Crazy, 10cents also money leh. Can buy 2 mentos. Ten of the 10cents can get nasi katok already.


ITEM(S) #2 : MODEL CARS

Once upon a time when in holiday in KL, a friend of mine requested me to help him get some Tamiya model cars, so he can assemble them (all the hard work and effort) and give it to the girl he was so head over heels for. WELL GUESS WHAT. When I got back with the cars he didn’t want them anymore because he was jilted. SO now I am stuck with 2 boxes of replica cars which I have absolutely NO USE for and they had cost me a hefty RM180 to purchase. WHATHELL. Never trust a man in love obsession. Unless you’re the one he’s obsessed with.

Because of that, now I offer you

SKYLINE GT-R (blue) and VW NEW BEETLE (red)


Still new, had not opened it..well a bit lah, just to check it out BUT I did not remove anything at all!! Still got the receipt! See the VW box, the price tag still attached! AHHAHA.

Bought them for RM90 each.
Since it’s been with me for quite a while, subtract some depreciation of RM20.
But I’ve taken good care of them and never kacaued them so add RM15.
You’re buying from me worr so much give you discount RM10.
i got them all the way from KL, kena excess baggage charges RM400++ leh BLOODY HELL! Add RM 15!
Brunei don’t have. Add RM5.
Ok lah, nicer a bit, discount some more RM10.

So nett discount of RM5 only. HAHAHAHA.

Ok no more joking, I’m willing to part with them for RM70 each. That’s BND30. Prices very cheap already kay, and negotiable (you can tell me you saw it somewhere for $15 only, or something like that, I fall for it very easily one) uwahaha.

You should really buy one of these you know, it’s like a hobby or something, and when you finish assembling them, VOILA, all your hard work materializes into a pretty shiny brand new car! You should get it even more if you love GT-Rs and Beetles! =D


ITEM(S) #3 : PHONE PRODUCTS.

You know me, one year lose one phone, so celaka. All im left with are the user manuals, CDs, earpieces, chargers and more. Whatever you want, I think I have, even if you want the phone box (for what?) I can give you for free if you buy something from me. I have

Nokia chargers (HAA everyone also have lah.) but get from me, BND5 k. oklah, BND3. FINE! BND2. TAKE IT!
Motorola charger (I used E365, I don’t know what other model fits it, you google it) BND7 or RM14
Nokia earpiece (old ones, new ones, everything also have. Most of them never been used. Got the cushion thing also, still in plastic) BND1 ahh!!
Other things = Nokia batteries, Nokia USB cable, user manuals, software CDs, AIYAH MANY LAH.


ITEMS(S) #4 : CD-R



Bought a whole lot more than I needed. “Buy CD-Rs for what??” okay. If you want songs, I burn for you. If you want MP3s I burn for you.

At BND2 each it’s cheaper than the average price you pay for your pirated music CDs.
Hmmm. Since I don’t have nice packaging like the pirated CDs, have to reduce by BND1.00
But you can choose any color you want leh, pirated CDs got like that meh?? Add BND0.50.
And I let you choose the songs you want! Not all compilations have exactly all your choices. Add BND0.50.
You can ask your friend to burn for you for free? Okay, discount BND1.00.
Electric bill leh…… Add RM0.50

You want tv shows?? Have to think about it first.

Nett price = BND1.50 per CD with songs of your choice!
Empty CD-R = BND0.80 per piece.

You want to go buy CD-Rs cheaper at Miri or Limbang??
Think about the petrol fees!
Think about the long queues at the immigration control post!
Think about all the annoying salespersons following you around in the shop!
Think how kasian I am.

Don’t have the design you want? ok, tell you what, you let me know what design you want, I’ll get it for you. WAHAHA.

BUY FROM ME.


ITEM(S) #5

Actually you know what, this is taking such a long time, for me to type, for you to read. Why not like this, I can sell anything inside my room if you quote the right price (my room turned into a retail shop! Good for those who always had a thing for my things. Haha.) So if you’re bored one day and wanna shop, you email me, we’ll arrange for a tour. It’s not bigger than most shops but it definitely has a lot of things for you to look over. I can sell my bed also if you want! HAHAHAHA.

So here’s my email once again: amilyn307@gmail.com
I check my email every morning.
*All prices negotiable.
*Delivery provided.
*If you’re coming for a tour, you get snacks and drinks also.
*You can use my house phone to call up your friends for opinion.
*You also can pet my dog. Oh you hate animals? Never mind, we’ll keep it outside my room.

I’m serious okay! You want to buy stuff, you come to me okay? OKAY? I AM not KIDDING!

You can’t buy my underwear, you perv!