GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr!!!
I dunno how to express myself! I'm bursting.
I am 20% happy(in a way), 35% feeling very disappointing and 45% guilty.
It's such a mixture of emotions i dunno how to contain myself.
Happy coz I finally said it after months and months of freaking hesitation and guts-developing.
I know I've let it out and I should be overjoyed and feeling very pheww~ but after a while it sinks in. I can't be entirely happy. It's so hard. It's not possible.
Annoyed that I am so disappointing, I disappointed them and have let their hopes down. It's the worst feeling ever. To be so useless. To shatter ppl's dream. To waste time and money. Where can they hide their faces when ppl ask? Ppl would think, why is she so stupid? Is she just squandering their money there doing nonsense instead? I can just imagine the whispers behind their backs. I'm so paranoid.
Guilty in so many ways... I don't even know where to start. I can't get past my own guilty thoughts. Why did I not be wise? Why why why? There's no way to turn back
I feel so sorry to them.
I'm in deep shit.
I hope I don't disappoint any further.
I seriously have to stick to what I say. For goodness' sake.
It's a long road and to take longer to complete it f*cking bugs the hell out of me.
I hope it comes by quick.
To regret isn't an option now.
ARGH
2 comments:
JASMINE YAP!! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!! u can do it one... u will do welll this time. i trust u, and u trust me also yes. hehehe
take careee and CHEERS love, do know im always hereeee, an internet/call/msg away.. hehe =D
Hey shenny dear!!
Thanks thanks for ur words of support!!!
Yeah, gotta try extremely hard this time, NO MATTER WHAT, man!
haha wanted to call u that day...but was like.. so late liao. ok, time to sleep the sorrows away. Hhaha, felt better the next day.
*hugs* appreciate ur kind concern:):)
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