OMG

I've almost never ever felt the urge to blog so much.
Shit, I know I shouldn't make this blog feel like some place that I only use to vent frustrations and anger. But I realise I do. When I feel like crap, I tend to wanna blog. I know it's a bit mean to the readers. Should blog more happy stuff next time, when I'm really happy. Should be fair, pour out happiness AND sadness as well.

I feel so frustrated. I still have not gotten the reply I want from the uni. And I feel there is no hope already. no more, not even a single bit of hope. And it's gonna affect everything. Not just for a matter of short while, but for years. Die man die. Don't know why I never realised it. I could have prevented all these bullcrap from happening. Could have seen what the consequences are, but I didn't. Why? Why did I let all these happen, thinking there's a way to fix it, some how, some way, like how I always managed to. I should have known that we can never fight the rules, the rules are rigid. They can't change it for anyone at all, definitely not for me. sigh. Regret is so useless now.

And this frustration always creeps in and disturbs what I should be doing on a normal basis. Really annoying. Really hinders my productivity in my usual work (work as in school work, not "work" work, i wish i have the "work" work).

I'm getting a hunched back. Keep having to sit at a table for hours crouching over my papers, book and computer. Getting all conscious over my sitting postures nowadays and trying to walk straight all the time without hunching over.

Fun. I want fun. I hope I get some fun out of my life, after I get over this whole thing, which is gonna take a while to get used to. So stressed out everyday. Sigh and then, semester 1's starting soon in March. There's a lot of things I wanna do, that I can't do just cause I'm being bogged down by this subject. I gotta endure.. for at least a week more. After essay, I'll have to study like a mad woman, until my exam on the 18th. Cram cram cram.